A Saturday to remember

            Saturday, a few of us gathered at casa-de-Squish for a celebration of beer, bourbon, and BBQ.  We wanted to recreate the local festival of the same name in a relaxed environment.  Man that was a party.

            The twelve of us ordered take out from Andy Nelson’s BBQ.  The participants brought a selection of whiskey, ciders, and beers—emphasis on the whiskey and cider.  K&K brought some home crafted sparkling alcoholic blueberry juice and Southern comfort.  I think they brought some beers as well, but honestly, I don’t remember.  The juice came from a home-craft set you can pick up on Amazon called spike my juice.  You take a 64oz bottle of your favorite fruit juice, drop in one of the yeast packets, screw on the provided vented top and let sit for 2-4 days.  The yeast converts the sugar into alcohol venting the extra gas through the top while it self-carbonates.  Based on several reviews, there’s an art to getting the alcohol content to the desired level while leaving the right amount of sweet in the drink.  We’ve ordered one of the kits and should have a test batch to try this weekend.  I’m looking at making my own Southern Comfort as well because this stuff is a-ma-zing—more on that later.

            There were several very nice bourbons on display.  I brought a selection of high end items I’ve been hording for just such an event.  While I brought three E.H. Taylors and Thomas Handy rye, it was my Elijah Craig that took the biggest hit.  I find it interesting that of all the premium bourbons I brought it was the least expensive of the batch that attracted the most attention.  Granted, it’s my favorite for value and flavor; but it was a little odd.  Number two was the willett.  It had a very bold flavor that appealed to everyone.

            Amongst the alcoholic wonderland several of us settled down to try a game of iron & Ale. I&A is a dwarven themed drinking card game.  My lovely wife backed it on kickstarter for me as a gift a couple years ago and this was the first chance I had to take it for a spin—and man what a spin.  Game play involves each player picking a dwarven lord.  Each lord has a special ability so most people will want to randomize the selection.  Then the person with the best beard starts.  Each player in turn draws up to 2 cards from the mountain deck which is composed of monster fights and different kinds of metal ingots.  Then they draw one physical challenge.  If you win a fight or challenge you keep the card and the associated honor.  The player with the most honor at the end of the game wins.  The way the rules are written makes clear that players are encouraged to bet on challenges, play side games, and generally carouse in typical dwarven fashion.  Many of the penalties and contests involve “drinking” whatever one happens to be holding at the time.  Since several players started off with bourbon things got interesting quickly.  Things we learned after playing two rounds of the game:

1.       Next time we play drinks will be standardized for alcoholic content and volume.

2.       I still can’t beat Squish at arm wrestling.

3.       Doctor ninja will run out of energy punching my arm before I flinch.

4.       I can do more pushups than anyone in the group.

5.       Game needs to be sleeved.

6.       Those Lego drinking glasses need to be drunk from the flat side.

7.       Standing on one foot and drinking is hard,

That list says a lot about how much fun this game is.  I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.  It put two of our Dwarven clan on the floor, but them’s the breaks.  I can’t wait for the expansion we preordered to come in.

      Cleaning up the next day it turned out that most of our friends left their booze at Squish’s.  He didn’t want it which leaves me in an interesting place.  I have so much bourbon.  Some of the lower end stuff will get turned into cuffs and buttons:

www.gardenandgun.com/article/southern-comfort-recipe

That is going to be some serious experimenting—especially if I end up mixing it up with our nitrogen infuser.  God, I love science.

      The afternoon and subsequent evening recovery period were a great deal of fun.  I oft time wax professorial on fine spirits, games, and food.  I enjoy the finer things in life as grace notes to memorable moments.  The element that makes those moments worth remembering is fellowship.  Saturday was filled with pleasant company.  Thanks to all who made it possible.

The making of an action hero, Mixed results

            Preparing to confront the villain of the week is getting easier.  Eating well, not so much.  I’m not sure how Bat man does it.

            The gym is a set part of my routine.  The instructor for my boxing class and the people at the front desk know me by name.  There are a couple people who make a point of saying high.  It’s much like riding the bus—after a while you form a location specific bond if you see people often enough.  Sunday I hit upper body and cardio.  I’m finally getting full use from my left knee—so it looks like it’s back to full power again.  Squish and I have been working off joint and back issues for the last two months.  It was nice to finally feel whole.  I’ve got enough practice in that I can hit the boxing room twice a week—once on Tuesdays with class and once on Thursdays after my clubs.  It’s taken a while to get my hands and shoulders to a point where I can box regularly.  Even with one pound training gloves and heavy padded bags, the repetitive impacts take their toll. I know longer have pain in my right hand if I box more than an hour a week.   My knuckles are slightly flattened.  They align so that I can get my weight into hooks and punches.  I always thought people were talking figuratively when they said boxers got sunken knuckles.  Apparently those stories were more literal than I realized.

Yesterday I had my best bag session in recent memory.  I paced myself with short breaks throughout the class and ended up working with more overall intensity and endurance than I’ve had in a while.  I spend the class at a single heavy bag that is lowered to touch the floor in order to keep it from moving around too much.  The rest of the class moves with partners from station to station.  It’s easier for me just to stay in one place than to try and figure out where the next station is and what the next exercise will be.  Of course that means I don’t have a partner to switch off with.  I started off trying to go 100% on my own for the entire hour.  Half way through I was mostly done unable to really push myself.  By pacing my efforts I managed to actually do more.  I like the earthy simplicity of the boxing room.  It is very no-frills, just moving weights and punching things and cardio.  The atmosphere reminds me of my high school wrestling room.  The people there aren’t there for show; they’re in there to do serious work. 

            My employer is sponsoring an 8 week fitness challenge where we track our steps and exercise.  It motivated me to finally get the fit bit zip I earned last year up and running.  I’m not sold on these pedometers—especially since the new iWatch is coming out soon.  It seems to me that this dedicated technology is going to be quickly superseded by phones and other wearable tech.  Also, I’ve seen some strong arguments that their measurements are unreliable.  That being said, I figure it’s a place to start.  If the zip is unreliable at least I can get a consistent measurement to compare day to day.  I’d rather upgrade to the fit bit flex.  The flex is a bracelet that you never have to remove.  The zip is a little key-fob-like device that you carry around with you.  If you forget to put it in your pocket you lose that time.  I’m going to use the bit I already have and see how I like the tiny master before I drop cash on its replacement.  Next on my list is grabbing the aria wireless scale so that my phone can keep me honest re-weight.  It’s like having a bunch of secret agent tech monitoring your every move.  I linked my fit bit account and my work tracking group.  Now there’s no need for me to do the annoying tracking of steps and exercise—the unit does it for me. 

            Sooooooo, weight.  Yeh…so I’ve been holding steady just under 300.  This is good in that I haven’t gained weight during my injury recovery.  This is bad in that while I’m stronger, I haven’t seen any progress on weight in about 8 months—which was when I stopped gaining and just flattened out under 300.  I am seeing steady strength gains—I am benching 175 and military 105 in three sets of ten which is up from last cycle.  My endurance and speed are up.  I’m noticeably stronger on the heavy bag.  I’m down to a size 48 jeans—which was one of those long ago goals to start wearing normal sizes again.  Granted, it’s almost the biggest size rangler makes, but it’s a good start.

            The catch is that my diet hasn’t done so well.  I’m still not ordering or eating at the café much.  We cook often.  However, I’ve gotten out of the habit of morning health shakes.  I snack more than I’d like when I’m at home.  Worst of all, the meals that were interesting back when I started training have become dull.  It’s much easier to fudge the diet when you’re not interested in the available options…or maybe it would be more accurate to say that my preferences have begun to run to the options that used to be the treats and exceptions.  The brunette recently gifted me with two spicy cookbooks which are going to serve as the fulcrum for moving the diet along in this regard.  I have new cooking gear from the pampered chef…I need new dishes to keep things spicy.

            Monday I grilled marinated steak strips, made Mexican rice, diced veggies, and assembled a dressing from light sour cream and salsa. The marinade was a head of cilantro, a couple table spoons of minced garlic, black pepper, and half a cup of sweet bourbon sauce.  I could have made this healthier by cutting out the cheese (which didn’t really do that much for the flavor anyway.)  I could have used brown or basmati rice instead of the boxed mix and just added my tomatoes and chilies.  I want to start thinking along these lines more often—not how can I eat something different that’s healthier, but how can I make the dish that I want to eat better for me?  I’ve already done that with burgers a couple times mixing lean ground beef and lean ground turkey for a burger which my father says is better than beef anyway.  I don’t want to find a better way to eat junk food.  I do want to find a healthy way to expand our menu that keeps life interesting.  Offhand that’ll mean reducing pre-packaged elements I use as much as is cost effective.  I’ll start adding these recipes to my entries going forward.  Hopefully others can add to and offer suggestions about these ideas.

Projects

Each spring the brunette and I set aside money from our return for personal projects. Consequently, tax season forces me to examine the “stuff” on my to-do list.




One of my 2015 goals is to close out projects. Some of these include finishing the man cave, upgrading certain firearms, working on our preparedness gear, finishing up my warmachine model selection, working on my EDC gear, cleaning out unwanted firearms, building a reloading set up, clearing out old games, and generally getting “stuff” down to a manageable level. So I’ve been busy.

A couple weeks ago Squish drove me out to Duffy’s where I dropped off my 10/22 takedown for smithing. Part of my return went to a Kidd custom trigger which was the final component of my modular takedown build. While I was there I sold my Colt 1903. It suffered its first strike when it started rusting after only a week in the safe. The second strike came when the rear sight fell off. The final strike came when I started consolidating calibers and platforms—mainly focusing on the 1911 for magazine fed pistols. So it’s out. I miss the little pocket hammerless in the way you miss anything once loved and now departed. Even so, it’s a relief to not have to worry about refinishing the new rear sight, getting it installed, and finishing up the upgrade process. I got word yesterday that the smithing on the .22 project is done; I just need to get out to Duffy’s to pick up the completed package.

The man cave boasts a role-top desk, new shelving, and functional lighting now. To that, I’m considering adding a full sized project table. Working with firearms and related products means I’m often handling chemicals, large pieces of metal, and lots of “parts.” I could really use a dedicated work surface to keep everything straight. The one I saw at office depot is $500ish—which is a lot of money. I’m caught between the desire to buy something strong and functional and the desire to get something economical that I can live with. It’s a more challenging choice than one might think because as the brunette constantly reminds me I need to make sure this is something I’m not going to switch out in 6 months—Plus, it isn’t like I’m going to have $500 all in one place later if the cheapo route goes South.

That’s a big factor—rarely will I have this much money in one place to complete projects for the rest of the year. That being the case, most of my energy goes toward reviewing miniatures and firearms. Those categories are my most expensive draws by an order of magnitude. Board games, RPGs, and EDC gear can all usually be had for $150 or less—which is within my monthly budget. There are some exceptions—I can always find something more to drop cash on—but those are the big two.

For miniatures, I have a couple more Khador models I’d like to grab to round out my case. Painting and assembly are up in the air sadly. Deathquaker has other personal commitments which limit her capacity. Corc has been working on my legion beasts for months with no end in sight. I don’t expect either of them to be available for additional work any time soon. Blue table is—well—blue table. They handled my original butcher battle group, so I’d love to have them round out my collection with a matching paint job. If I’m going to do that though, I really should wait till Butcher’s character jack comes out. Plus, they never make things easy. Are they worth the investment? I don’t know. Jay is working on my Farrow for the foreseeable future. I’ve already bought the next 2 waves of models for him to work on—so I’m at least six weeks ahead of the game there, probably more like 8. So with minis, I have ideas but no available production capacity unless I want to lay out a sizeable chunk of change and go the btp route—and with how little I’ve been playing lately that just doesn’t feel like a good use of my limited funds. I could buy out the rest of the Farrow models I’m planning on Jay building; but experience has taught me that you don’t want to get too far ahead on the miniature supply wagon. The minute you do, your painter leaves or the game ends or Murphy comes gunning for you.

That leaves me looking at reloading and guns. I’ve taken a crash reloading course over the last 3 months by virtue of the internet and talking to a few friends. What I’ve come up with is that while reloading metallic cartridges is technically possible it’s not practical. There are precise measurements required such as when one trims the case, checks crimp, and measures powder weight. In order to make the process worthwhile I would need to reload in bulk. That would require a lot of help—help that friends might be willing to provide, but for which the asking would take the joy out of the experience. Shotgun reloading looks viable—you don’t have to trim the hulls, loadings are set in stone, and you can measure powder with a scoop. I did the math and I can’t build 00 or 000 buck loadings in 12 gage for less than market value. I can load .410 for a decent discount—which is where I’m looking now. Reloading is a big responsibility; one that I’m not entirely sure I want to get into yet. It’s on the radar as I look to the future.

I spend all year reviewing firearms anticipating tax return season. My choices change depending on new offerings and personal experience. This year I’ve been focused on filling practical gaps in my collection. My current contenders in no particular order:

• 7.62x54r VEPR. This would give me a 10 round magazine designated marksman rifle that fires the same cartridge as my mosin nagant. I’d have a battle rifle in a large plentiful caliber that’s already in my collection.

• Benelli vinci tactical with the upgraded pistol grip stock. I have this thing about semiautomatic shotguns. I just love them. This is one of the easiest fixed magazine versions to clean due to its modular construction. Plus, Benelli rocks.

• A paired set of Ruger single action revolvers in .22lr and a convertible Blackhawk in .45acp/.45lc. This would let me practice with cheap .22 but get relevant practice on a larger caliber frame. It’s really a nice set up for practice/fun and is probably the most cost effective choice long-term.

• A 45-70 Magnum research BFR. This is just a fun purchase in an existing caliber. I do love my big bore revolvers.



My plan is to hold off making any final commitments for a couple weeks till I determine if I’m selling any other items. I’m hoping to sell Duffy’s my Mec Tec carbine upper. With that gone and the possibility that a friend will pick up my .22 bolt action, I will have room in my case, cash on hand, and the time to make the right decision. So it’s back to the drawing table for now.

The making of an action hero, or things to work on

January is traditionally a month for reflection and goal setting. I, being the cranky old action hero that I am, dislike words like resolution and diet. They come with so much baggage that making a resolution or starting a diet always feels like a self-defeating prospect. So I’m not going to make a resolution. I’m simply going to say what I’ve done and what more I feel I need to work towards.




Last Year:

Last year saw some decent progress on the health front. I lost ground on the weight side—reducing my gains from 40 to 25 pounds. On the up side, I maintained that 25 pound loss over an entire year. Weight isn’t in-and-of-itself something I’m focused on. It’s an indicator of other things. To be clear, you can be fit and fat. It’s better to be just fit, but you can carry extra pounds and improve your health.

That was the philosophy I took in 2014. In 2013, I got the ball rolling. I found that really dedicated diet changes were difficult to maintain. I’ve kept many of them including bringing my own lunch to work, cutting out soda entirely, eating health shakes most mornings for breakfast, almost never ordering out unless we have company, and using my light box. I didn’t keep up the quality of my diet—we eat more processed foods than I’d like among other things. So last year was all about finding a sustainable balance and holding on to as many of the 2013 gains as I could manage.

The really bright spot was starting up a 3-day-a-week gym rotation with Squish and MX. I know for a fact that this has paid off in a huge way. Sunday I managed 2 sets of 8 and 1 set of 10 at 175 pounds on bench. I’m pushing 115 pounds in sets of 8 for military press. My 5 pound clubs feel like nothing. I regularly run the elliptical past its 65 minute tracking maximum—averaging 80 minutes of cardio per visit including my boxing time. Boxing is fan-tastic. I owned that heavy bag yesterday and had energy left over for a good 45 minute run on the elliptical. My endurance, muscle tone, and vitals are the best they’ve been since college with indicators that I may even better that mark. My blood pressure is the lowest it’s ever been. My other metrics are coming down—high but no longer in the danger-danger-danger zone. I still have foot problems, but that’s most often due to a sprain rather than irritated tissue. Best of all, I’ve only missed 3 days in 4 months. The gym is fully integrated into my schedule to the point where I feel bad if I don’t get enough cardio. I used to hate rule number 1, do cardio. Now, not only is it in reach but I feel like I’m pushing hard at it.

The biggest 2014 gain didn’t have to do with any specific metric. For the first time in a while I have the strength, endurance, physical capacity, and general wellness to actually live life actively. There’s always room for improvement, but there are certain minimum tolerances required to be considered “active.” I’m not going to be running a marathon tomorrow. I do feel like I can manage all moderate and several difficult physical tasks. Squish has been talking for a while about getting a tandem bike—a prospect which used to fill me with doubt. I feel like I could make a good showing now. That’s the best part of going to the gym. I don’t have to be afraid of trying new physical activities for fear of coming up short.



Things to work on:

As I’ve said before, I believe that a big part of making sustainable changes comes from being honest about what needs to be done, what you can handle, and what you can push yourself to do. Weight wasn’t a big focus for me in 2014 because I wanted to work on good behaviors. When my scale gave up the ghost I took it as a sign. That being said, I’m at a point where I think periodic weight checks will be beneficial. Studies have shown that people who check their weight make better choices. Starting the last workout day of each month I’m going to have Squish check my weight. I’m in better shape—now it’s time to be honest about where I am and where I want to be. To some extent that has to involve shucking poundage. I think I’m exercising enough that I should be able to turn that monitoring into positive reinforcement.

One of my issues is that I spend most of my off-time at home reading, checking email, and puttering around the kitchen. While I’m all for these activities in general, it puts me in contact with the fridge more often than I’d like. Finishing up the beast cave™ will give me a place where I can work on projects without as much temptation. I’d like to have at least the work space done by the end of March. I have several activities I’d like to work on—care and cleaning for my firearms, learning to sharpen my edged object collection, creative writing, reloading basics, a RPG sound library and soundboard system, and learning first aid/survival/communication—basic prepper stuff. I’d like to establish a pattern of doing “stuff” in the man-cave not only to keep me away from snacking but also to keep me more focused—a long term goal, but one I believe I can achieve.

In the kitchen, I want to work on making healthier, interesting dishes. I have my standard offerings which are ok. The catch is that if I’m going to get to the informal mental goal I’ve set myself for 2015, I’m going to have to really up my game when it comes to lean protein and veggies. The brunette understandably doesn’t like healthy food for its own sake. I’m going to have to work on things like soups, different kinds of salads, and varieties of dishes that will taste good. On the up side, I got a bunch of gear from our pampered chef party. I’m completely capable of grilling, something that’s let me make up some low-fat burgers when the meat-craving gets unmanageable. I’m going to see how to cook chicken breasts with that as well as working on roasting veggies and a few other tricks to spice things up.

I enjoy days where you sleep in for 10 hours, laze around the house, read a book, and check email. Down time is important for mental and physical restoration. I feel that this has become my default setting though. Absent any specific activity, I find my way to the recliner listening to a book where I’ll lose an hour or two. I’m going to work on scheduling down time on purpose rather than just letting hours go by for lack of motivation. I want to do stuff or do more stuff I should say. I’m certainly more active now than I was two years ago. The catch is making sure I’m taking the steps to not settle on my laurels.

I’m going to finish things in 2015. I’m really and truly sick of leaving things on the to-do list half way done. I’ve gotten better but it’s still a thing for me. I have a habit of obsessing over one idea/project/issue and then, after I’ve bought in with time and cash, losing interest in favor of the new shiny. This is one of those on-going kinds of objectives. Not-buying warmachine and hordes models until I have a painter available has helped. Not spending all-day on kickstarter has helped too. Getting the man-cave up and running may help more—and yes, I realize the irony in depending on completing one project in order to increase my completion rate. More broadly this is about my commitment to focus less on aquiring things and more on making use of the things I’ve already aquired. That may involve aquiring more “things” but it will curb the trend of opening up new time consumers and focus drains.

I’m going to be looking seriously at my next job move. I’ve been in my current department for almost 3 years. At first it was a nice change with great perks. Lately though I’m starting to see it as a dead end job. I don’t mind doing the same thing every day as long as that job meets my long term financial goals. Unless I’m in line for a promotion I don’t see myself meeting those goals by staying in my current spot. That means asking some very difficult questions. It means having at least one tuff conversation with my boss. This is possibly the most uncomfortable goal. I’m not good at picking a direction. The thing is, I can’t keep doing this for ever. At some point the bank is going to either find a way to make more of my role accessible or they’re going to get tired of supporting me at a diminished capacity for my job rating. Maybe that happens soon, maybe not. Either way, It’s in my best interest to act soon.



That’s it. I’m getting closer to going big time. The training continues. The bad guys are on notice…I’m coming soon and you’d better be ready.

Range time, or the lack there of.

2014 was a shooting bust. Financial and scheduling concerns limited our access. I didn’t make it to Elk Neck at all. While I enjoy collecting, modifying, and researching guns, I enjoy putting them through their paces just as much. Hitting the range less than 10 times in a calendar year was just piss-poor. This experience forced me to re-evaluate my firearm priorities.




I used to want one of everything. I had a .9mm, a 357, a .22, a .44, a .32, a .45, a couple 38s…etc. My wish list was basically “all of them.” Time, experience, and financial common sense have whittled that list down to more manageable levels. It’s easy to sell yourself on any given firearm, especially if you frequent the gun rags. Each review is a beautifully packaged piece of marketing as to how this one pistol/rifle/shotgun will change your life. What doesn’t get said often is that unless you’re a professional gun-guy, most of the endless parade of clockwork bullet throwers are solutions to non-problems. After the brunette got her first pistol and rifle, I finally had to cry uncle. The gun rags be damned, there was only so much space in our apartment. I had one good-sized locker for ammo, and it was full up. For the first time, I actually wasn’t sure where to store a box of ammo. It was past time to consolidate calibers.

Looking through my collection it was clear that big-bore was the way of the future. Everywhere I looked it was .45 this and .44 that. I’m at the point where a decent range trip involves hundreds of rounds rather than 50 here and 20 there. The cheapest way to make that happen is to get my caliber commitment down to the point where a bulk ammo purchase covers multiple platforms.

So I sold my Colt revolvers. They were still serviceable, but the combination of caliber and parts concerns put them on the block. A friend bought one while I traded the other two for an S&W Governor.

The Governor is Smith’s entry into the hugely popular multi-caliber craze started by the Taurus judge. It is a double action alloy framed snub nosed wheel-gun that can fire 2 3/4 .410 shotgun shells, .45lc, or .45acp using moon clips. I’ve put a couple boxes of each down the pipe and it functions well. The alloy frame, 2.5 barrel, and fixed groove sights clearly mark this revolver as a concealed carry, survival, and backpacking handgun. The governor’s claim to fame is its flexibility and access to .410 shotgun shells. I see it as an excellent self defense choice for apartment dwellers, those who spend a lot of time in the driver seat, and those looking for a kit gun to serve multiple roles. Assuming you use ammunition tailored for judge-type handguns, the governor does well within its design limitations—which is to say close up on man-sized targets.

The governor makes cowboy action .45lc loads feel like firing .22s. Self defense, i.e. higher velocity, .45acp rounds pushed a bit but didn’t hurt. Full on .410 buckshot loads felt like lighting off .44 magnum rounds. I’ll do some more testing but for now it looks like the upper end .45lc and .410 loadings require a strong hand to tolerate in volume. Accuracy was acceptable—about what you’d expect from a snub nose.

I have two problems with this revolver. First, the trigger is atrocious. It is mechanically tight like you’d expect from S&W, but the weight is 10+ pounds—more than my old GP100 out of the box. I had to work at not torking the barrel out of alignment as my hand compressed the double action. It should smooth out with time, but this may be the first revolver I’ve shot that actually requires trigger work. The second issue was the long double action reset. It didn’t happen often, but occasionally I pulled the trigger before the action reset, dropping the hammer on a partial chamber. I’m not happy with this—though it could just be a break in period.

I’ll do a full review after I have some more quality time with the big smith. For now I see the Governor as one of those guns that works for people seeking a single answer to multiple questions. In any given category there are dedicated platforms that do the governor’s job better. The Governor’s value comes with its caliber flexibility and access to specialty loadings.

I also was lucky enough to pick up a Benelli super nova tactical 12 gage. I’ve been looking for a replacement for my old 870 for a while. Its successor, a Browning BPS, was beautiful but damned difficult to clean. I like Mossberg pumps, I just can’t seem to warm up to them enough to throw cash their way. Even if I hadn’t had issues with my original 870, Remington’s current QC problems would have put them out of the running.



The Super Nova has several features that set it above the competition in my opinion:

1. It takes 2 ¾, 3, and 3 ½ length shells. To my knowledge this is the only pump gun that has this versatility.

2. It has a button on the foreend which lets you eject a shell without chambering a new round. This is useful when carrying multiple ammunition types so you can load directly into the chamber or work the action without cutting into your magazine.

3. It comes with a chrome lined barrel. This is a huge bonus to anyone who has had to clean a pump after a big day at the range. Chrome wears well and cleans up better than steel.

4. It comes standard with rifle sights. While this isn’t a deal breaker for me, I’m trying to standardize sights and optics across multiple platforms. This is more for the benefit of new shooters than anything else. I’m trying to keep all my tools in an easily teachable layout.

5. The safety is mounted on the front of the trigger guard within easy reach of my finger—unlike the 870. As a bonus, the guard is enlarged for use with gloves.

6. It comes with built in recoil reduction. Wmtrainguy helped me replace the factory hard rubber pad with a limb saver. The comfortech stock, Benelli’s’ standard rifle stock, has built in soft rubber chevrons which help tame the recoil impulse of heavy 12 gage loads. I’ve learned to distrust mechanical recoil reducers, but the integrated solid state reduction of the Benelli was a nice bonus.

7. The Nova series is built from a thick steel skeleton enclosed in a heavy duty plastic shell. The metal parts are coated for maximum durability. The result is a gun that is fully coated and protected for hard use. If you’re going to buy a ruff duty gun, then it’s nice to have one that can handle getting banged around.

8. The thing feels solid in the hands—at seven pounds, it weighs as much as the all-steel 870. The weight and recoil reduction features really make it a joy to shoot.

9. The Super Nova has excellent fit and finish. Benelli is known for fantastic quality work at reasonable prices. This pump gun validates that reputation.

10. Benelli and Beretta are owned by the same parent company. I want to throw some support Beretta’s way thanks to some of their recent pro 2a business moves. This was the right option at the right time.



I took the Benelli for an introductory date on my last range trip. She is simply a joy to work with. I shot through my remaining stock of Remington tac 8—30 rounds of mild recoil 00 buck. The Super Nova barely felt like it was recoiling. I’m not sure if it was the new recoil pad, the comfortech stock, the light loads, my perspective, or just good ergonomics, but there was 0 push and slap. The gun went boom, the muzzle went up, and a good time was had. I’ve been kicked around more by the brunette’s .45LC thunderbolt.

The Super Nova is a work horse. It doesn’t have the pretty blued steel and walnut fittings to catch the eye. It doesn’t have a bunch of tactical doodads for your inner Rambo. It’s pure function, made to high standards, and a joy to shoot. I wish I’d found this gun back when I was shopping for my 870. The action could use a little smoothing. I need to get the magazine plug out of the tube. That said, I’m very happy with my purchase.

The more I look at what I want my collection to do, the more I find myself drawn to stainless steel and utilitarian function-first designs. I’m getting really sick of depending on other people to clean and maintain my guns. Blued firearms are beautiful it’s true. They’re also more prone to rust than their stainless counterparts. I’m looking at 2014 and it’s clear to me that I need to focus less on expanding the collection and more on getting full use out of what I have. This year I learned how to take down my 1911s. It shouldn’t have taken me that long. I want to learn to take down and care for all my firearms.

So I’m looking at 2015 with an eye toward doing more at home rather than more at the range. Don’t get me wrong, more range time is on the list—I’m just making room for the possibility that monthly range trips may not be easy to come by. Actually, that’s the theme I’m looking at for all my hobbies in 2015—finishing up existing projects. What with no Gencon this year, I have a good bit of vacation to burn…so I’m thinking of trying to push for some extended trips to elk neck and the like. I’ll see if I can convince Wmtrainguy to help me take down my Benelli, my 2 marlins, and my 1911s. I’ll finish up and probably sell off the little .32 as well as my .22 bolt action. These are small things really, but they’re important to me.

Thoughts on 2015 Gaming

Planning for gaming is posing challenges beyond the simple who, what, when, where, why, and how as Huckle says.




A couple weeks ago we had an informal get together. I sent out an invite to likely board gamers. I expected better than half to decline. Instead, 80% not only said yes, but showed up. We have a 2 bedroom apartment. Things got crowded very quickly. Several people sat around hoping for a slot in the secluded back room while socializing and heckling. At several points there was space for a second or third game to start up; it just didn’t happen. It was quickly apparent that between the people who wanted to talk more than game and the people who didn’t want to game in the midst of the social mosh-pit of our living room, the high intensity gaming I envisioned wasn’t going to materialize.

I love the fact that so many of our friends are game groupies. As problems go this is a great one to have. That said, I’m going to handle things differently next time. While I love hosting the big events, I prefer a low-pressure scene when it comes to board and card games.

Going forward I’m going to invite people one at a time—keeping track of the total so as not to over-recruit. This policy is likely to create some hard feelings—several of our friends expect to be on every invitation list regardless of practicality. Some games call out for specific players. There are certain people who I know will sit down and play for 6+ hours at a time. There are people who are very low-drama. These people are going to get preference. Since our circle of friends is interconnected on multiple levels, word is going to get around. I’m hoping I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill. If not, I’m just going to be up front about the situation.

That brings me to the second looming issue—Gencon. After a couple years off, it looks like we’ll finally be able to attend in 2015. The brunette loves, loves, loves, Gencon, almost as much as the Jew—who would sell body parts to attend. It’s something of a personal validation for them to dive head first into the deep end of gaming once a year. I_like_Gencon. The magic wore off when I realized that the system is rigged against people getting the top-tier event tickets. You can often walk up with generics and get in on the exclusive stuff, but it’s very difficult to get in on the ground breaking material in the initial bidding. I was distinctly unimpressed with my access to quality RPG sessions on our last go-round. I’m happy to attend if the stars align, but it isn’t something I obsess over.

The first question is who’s going? We have an unspoken pact with Wmtrainguy, Ceri, Squish, and the Jew to split costs and share transportation when the opportunity presents itself. The Jew is going, even if she has to ship herself there. Wmtrainguy and Ceri seem like they are going to attend. Squish can’t make up his mind. It’s not worth it for us to cram in a sub-compact and slum it for 12+ hours to Indiana. Flying is logistically prohibitive even if we could get good pricing. The upshot is that if we can travel in Squish’s van, split a room with Squish and the Jew, or find comfortable cost effective alternatives we’ll attend. Unfortunately, until we can confirm those arrangements, we can’t commit. Registration is coming up fast. I’m not sure how to broach the subject in a way that doesn’t guilt trip the other parties. I’m going to wait till after Friendsmas and just lay it all out in an email.

Depending on how our 2014 tax returns work out, we’re going to set aside funds from our return or pay off my 401k and save the money incrementally. Either way, we need to decide by the end of January. Financially, we can’t afford to wait till March or April. We have to plan for food, vender purchases, some new duds, and the host of little expenses that an undertaking like this inevitably generates. I wish money wasn’t an issue, but we can’t do this one off the cuff.

Assuming we are going, the next question becomes what am I going to run? Gencon is a unique opportunity for GMs. You have 50,000+ potential players at your fingertips. You can show new and obscure games to a near-unlimited audience. You can test concepts your normal group wouldn’t touch. So since I’m out of the competitive war gaming market, Gencon’s main draw is the chance to run a couple old style one shots while shamelessly plugging some of my favorite products.

Three years ago there wouldn’t be a question; I’d be running dragon storm. The last time I attended Gencon I ran a series of demos. I wrote my own adventure, produced my own materials, and bought my own cards. It was expensive in time and money, but the pay off was worth the cost. I was heavily invested in DS back then—running 2 or 3 games a week, buying multiples of every release, working with other players on drafting and play testing elemental betas, writing a rogue book, running a DS fiction page, and critiquing beta submissions for Mike. Mark occasionally ran ideas and editing by me—which was a huge compliment. Years later, after Mark’s tragic passing, the DS landscape has changed dramatically. Sue is out of the picture indefinitely due to medical concerns. Game management and production has been taken over by a few of Sue’s trusted friends. The Skype group and local collective have dried up—I can’t even get 3 players to give me a firm commitment any more. I haven’t received a submission for the DS Quill in months. The lapse between Mark’s passing and the new management’s assumption of control and the resulting uncertainty has cooled my ardor. Friends, who used to have an active trusted part in DS management and development have quit the game or have been quietly shut out of operations. I’ve had several run INS with the current leadership that have left a bad taste in my mouth—they aren’t bad people, we just don’t see eye-to-eye. All this to say that while DS has a special place in my heart, I’m not sure I want to carry its torch any more. I remain deeply conflicted on the subject.

That leaves me with four alternatives, assuming cope doesn’t talk me on to the dragon storm train. I just backed the Onyx Path Wraith the Oblivion 20th edition KS. It’s hugely unlikely OP will come out with this PDF before event registration, but stranger things have happened—this is wraith after all. We have been awaiting the 3rd edition exalted book, also from Onyx Path, for three years now. The book is supposedly in final editing; so theoretically I could have a PDF in hand in the next couple months. I doubt either of these games will make it in time. OP is slow but steady—at this point a year behind its projected completion date for exalted 3. I’ll keep them in mind but plan for alternatives.

I’m currently running a swords and sandals campaign using the updated Shadow, Sword, and Spell system. Over the last two sessions we’ve made characters, built the world from scratch, and introduced the group members to each other. SSS is spirit of the century light. It uses a 2d12 mechanic—not as clean as 2d6, but it has more potential variance. So far SSS has impressed me with its simplicity. It takes very little effort to jump in as a GM or player. The setting and mechanical underpinnings are built around a classless Conan/Lovecraftian foundation including insanity, dark sorcery, alchemy, divination, feats of strength…etc. Unfortunately the editing is atrocious. I would buy the updated materials, less than $150, before bringing it to Gencon and really taking it for a spin. So the overall investment wouldn’t be that much in cash. I’d need to do a lot of work creating cleaned up materials—sample characters, an introduction sheet, promotional materials, a quick start story, Gencon registration—the normal stuff. The producer provides free PDFs with any print purchase; so there is some built in accessibility—though the documents I’ve seen so far have not been in the greatest format. This is my back up option. If my first choice doesn’t come through, I’ll work out a SSS game and run with it.

Most gamers remember that one game—the one that opened their eyes with child-like joy for the first time. For me that game was exalted first edition. It hit all the right notes from setting to mechanics to writing. It’s hard for other games to compete—often the memory is gilded to the point of unobtainability. So when I found a second game that hit the happy switch I was overjoyed. The closest I’ve come to recreating my first blush with exalted came with Hellas—ironically an acquisition of my first Gencon trip. Hellas is one of those games that is so perfect that you know you’ll never achieve the ideal. It sits on your shelf and taunts you. “You know I’m the game you always wanted to play/run. Too bad you’ll never be good enough/find the right group/have the right adventure.” It’s maddening. Godsfall is the perfect fantasy game in a neat clean workable package. It sits on your shelf and says “I’m user friendly. There’s something here for everyone. I take all your fantasy tropes and turn them on their heads. Love me. Run me. Play me.” I found it while wandering through kick starter and have been infatuated ever since. The book is supposedly at the printer. I have a PDF version now—soon to be joined by a book, GM screen, and dice bag. It’s a simple system designed to avoid the scaling problems of most experience-based RPGs balanced with an imagination grabbing world. I’ll do a full review once I’ve read through the book, but as of now Godsfall is my first choice. I spoke to the designers during the campaign and they have no plans to run it at cons and such. I really enjoy sharing quality RPGs with fellow gamers. Especially if I can get some promo swag for con-goers, Godsfall might be my next big thing.

There’s a lot that’s up in the air. I’m still not sure we’re going to Gencon in the first place. We have to look at our finances and make sure it’s something we can afford—I’m hopeful but numbers care nothing for my optimism. Lots can happen between now and then. Still, 2015 is looking like a good year for gaming.

The making of an action hero, getting there

My health is improving. That feels good to say—not least because I feel like my state of mind is keeping pace with the metrics. I was going to write this up as a tongue and cheek homage to previous entries but it just doesn’t feel funny.




I started working on living better in mid 2013. There have been a lot of ups and downs since then. In the beginning, when the process of diet and exercise was new and shiny, the pounds rolled off with ease. Gradually the momentum slowed—largely due to injury and flagging motivation. This year has been good to me in that I’ve never entirely lost sight of the goal; but it hasn’t been as much of a rousing success as I’d like either. Going to the gym has been nice in that three days a week of intense exercise lets me feel like I’ve accomplished something without driving me into the doctor’s office.

The day before thanks giving, the brunette and I had our first visit with our new doctor. Our previous Physician is great personally; but his office is difficult to work with. When he started keeping hours at different locations and was only available locally twice a week, we decided to make a change. Part of switching over is the inevitable physical. Since I started going to the gym, aprox 6 weeks, I’m down 9 pounds to 294 and my blood pressure was measured at 100 over 70 and 100 over 80. That’s the lowest it’s been since college where I usually checked in at 110 over 60. I’m waiting on the results from the blood work, but I can say that the elliptical and boxing class have helped a lot.

Regarding the gym, I have a routine. It goes like this:

Sunday: Upper body followed by as much elliptical time as I can squeeze in.

Tuesday: Boxing class with as much elliptical time as I can manage.

Thursday: Club workout followed by boxing drill and/or elliptical time.



Upper body days consist of Bench, military press, row/lateral pulls, chest, machine pull downs, chest pushes, dumbbell curls, and fly lifts. We usually do 3 sets of anywhere from 10-15 reps depending on the exercise. This past Sunday I managed 3 sets of 10 reps at 155 pounds on bench. My personal best was 185 pounds back in college at sets of ten, so I’m pretty happy there. On the lateral rowing I’m moving 190 pounds in sets of 12 which, again, is pretty good. I’m stocky with short arms and legs. The result is that I struggle with military press where I’ve only been able to manage 65 pounds. You can tell I’ve let that group laps, I used to do sets at 135 pounds—but that’s something to work towards. Squish is a great partner. He’s a little stronger than me but I have a lot more muscle endurance. We compete and talk trash the entire time. That’s really the biggest benefit of working with a partner. You are always pushing to stay ahead or to pass the person you’re working with. It drives you to improve.

Boxing class is ruff. I have more than enough physical endurance. I do not have the muscular endurance required to keep going at full intensity with my arms for an hour. I can literally go for hours on the elliptical, but my arms are used to doing small jobs all day or single large jobs in a short period of time. Punching the heavy bag for an hour is exhausting. Even so, I’m improving. It’s slow, but my punches have better form. I can keep my flurries going throughout the session. I run out of juice for the hooks and uppercuts after 30 minutes, but the act of punching doesn’t lay me out any more—I just have to go slower towards the end. I like boxing class specifically because I’m not very good at it right now. I like challenges. Learning form, working on intensity, and building muscle memory is rewarding work.

My club work out is also ruff, but that’s cause I’ve stepped up to the ten pound clubs as of last week. Like boxing, I’m going to have to build myself up to a better place, but I’ll get there. I have a schedule, a plan, and a friend to keep me honest. The nice thing about the clubs and the boxing class is that they are full body workouts. I walk out of those sessions knowing I’ve done more than upper or lower or cardio—I’ve made my body work completely. It’s a good feeling.

The elliptical is really fantastic. I wasn’t a big fan initially—I did most of my cardio in college on a treadmill. It feels weird in the beginning. You aren’t lifting your legs as far as with running so it can feel like the machine is holding you back. The low impact factor means I can go for a long time without my knees giving out. The back and forth with the arms gets rid of the hanging on for dear life affect you get with some treadmills. My personal best is an hour and 20 minutes a couple weeks ago. I’m averaging 6 miles an hour with a pulse around 150. According to the machine I end up covering at least 3 miles every 30 minutes. My pulse has been on the decline—a sure sign that my endurance is increasing.

Good exercising is a mix of the intense short term effort in the boxing class and the longer endurance training of the elliptical. The upper body work out builds muscle groups while the clubs build functional strength and grace. I have biceps I can feel. I have numbers that I can be proud of. I’m having fun. There’s still a long way to go, especially with diet. For now though, I’m happy with progress.

Braising

The following is reposted with permission from a friend. If you want to make really good soup or turn cheap meat into fan-tast-ic food, read on.


Braising is a slow cook method that could be likened to how a crock-pot cooks. I've also heard it described as a way to cook meat immersed in the marinade. I kind of like both descriptors.



So my technique is pretty set, even though the ingredients change from dish to dish.

1. Start with cheap or cheap-ish meat. Whatever you use has to be able to tolerate long cooking methods, so good cuts of beef or chicken (the two things I've braised) kind of melt during the process. That's bad. For beef, I've had good luck with uncured brisket, flank steak and on Saturday I used Top Round that I cut into 2.5 (or so) inch thick steaks. For chicken, I like dark meat. Skin on and bone in is best. A whole leg (drumstick and thigh attached) makes for a good looking presentation.



2. Season the meat. Have some seasonings stuck to it. For Saturday I used Montreal Steak seasoning. Chili powder and cumin work well on chicken and makes for kind of southwest thing. Everything gets salt and pepper, of course (though most of what was in the Montreal Steak seasoning was coarse salt and pepper).



3. Sear the meat. Some people worry about drying, but by using an immersed cooking method there's really no worries with that. A lot of what we are doing with the searing is setting up the taste profile for the next ingredients. I sear in batches, so it's into the frying pan, brown on both sides then straight into the braising vessel (Which for me is an eight quart, enamel on iron dutch oven. Mine is, in fact, a Le Crusset knockoff with Martha Stewart's name on it.). The braising vessel is room temp, just sitting on the stovetop waiting for the dish to be assembled. This weekend I did something fancy. I put the meat onto potato slices to elevate it and stop sticking. It made cleanup easier, too.



4. Cook the braising liquid. Do not clean out the pan you seared the meat in. Just cook everything right down on the oil and meat bits and whatnot. For Saturday I cooked two onions (Vidalias), a load of mushrooms (canned (rinsed and drained) because I wasn't up for cleaning and cutting mushrooms), a can of black beans (rinsed and drained) and a couple of tablespoons of minced garlic. I let all that cook until it was soft. While that was cooking I dissolved a couple packets of onion gravy mix in half of a beer (I cook with cheap pilsner. This time I used Miller High Life.). Once the veggies were soft, I stirred in the beer and crushed tomatoes (the beer plus the tomatoes deglazed the skillet) and allowed the gravy the thicken some. Once it thickened up, I poured it over the beef.



5. Submerge the meat. Now is the time to make sure the meat is all under the fluid. I added beer to make sure it was all totally submerged. I also added steak sauce at this time (People who make steak sauce used to treat chipotles as some kind of secret ingredient. Now the cat's out of the bag.). Adding other flavors now is totally appropriate.



6. Cook in a 225 degree oven. Cover the pot and put it on the middle rack. I check on the beef at the 4 hour mark and it was done but still tough. Between hours 4 and 5, something magic happened that the beef tenderized itself nicely. For me, timing is a guideline. I will keep cooking until whatever I'm making is tender.



7. Pull the meat out of the liquid and rest it. While it is coming down in temp, get a stick blender and have at the braising liquid. I rough chop everything because this step renders it all a waste of time anyway. Also, some people might try to skim the oil off of the braising liquid now but I find that leaving it in acts as a thickener, like drizzling oil into a blender to make mayo or salad dressing. The stick blender emulsifies everything in the braising vessel, so the oil is suspended and nothing tastes 'oily'.. If you cooked with fresh herbs, re-season now to kind of perk the herb flavor up. Again, just rough chop and let the blender do your work for you. If you are serving now, portion out the rested meat and then spoon some of this gravy/sauce/whatever onto it when you serve. I stored the meat in the sauce over night then heated them all back up together.



[and from a second email]



The stick blender:

First off, a deep pot is a must. The more space between the liquid surface and the top of the pot, the greater the chance of avoiding mishaps. The stick blender needs to be in about 3 inches of liquid to keep the 'output' from breaking the surface. Not breaking the surface = No splattery mess. Never put it into the fluid or remove it from the fluid running (obvious once you do it the first time). I put the blender flat on the bottom of the pot and pulse it to test before I really go to town. I actually am guided by sound on this. If the blender cavitates (sucks air into the blades) I know it is putting air into the mix, which is fine if you want something whipped and airy. If I don't want air, either I need more liquid or I need to pulse and not run the thing for any amount of time. Once it is safe, I'll tilt the blender some to pick up large chunks. I also use it like a potato masher where I push down chunks with the blender off then pulse it to break up the things I have trapped under the blades.



Newest braising event:

Earlier this week I started a turkey soup by braising turkey legs in beer and chicken stock. I peeled and rough-chopped potatoes and put them into the pot before the turkey. Then I rough-chopped celery, onion and carrot and used all that as the braising veggies. The seasonings were salt, pepper, rosemary, thyme, sage, tarragon and herbs de provence. Once the braising was done, about 3 hours, the legs were removed and allowed to cool. The stock got a dose of stick blending so now I have all the traditional flavors of turkey noodle soup in a really thick stock. We shredded the turkey off the legs and chopped it then put it in the fridge in tupperware with enough thick stock on top to keep it moist. The rest of the thick stock went into it's own tupperware in the fridge. When it's time to make soup, I'll saute some nicely chopped onion, carrot and celery and boil some noodles. Then I'll combine turkey, thick stock, newly sauteed veggies, some fresh herbs (parsley and sage, mostly), noodles and a certain amount of check stock to cut it. This makes it more 'soup' and less 'stew'. That will burble for about a hour to let the flavors meld. All the preview tastes tell me it's going to be good.

The making of an action hero, Training time

You know all those movie montages where the hero pumps himself up just in time for the boss fight? I love those scenes. The hero grimly suffers through all manner of indignities for his principals. I feel like that right now.


So, 3 weeks into operation meet the Gym and things are going well. It’s easier for me to do 2 hours of exercise 3 times a week than 45 minutes of exercise 2-4 times a week especially when the activity is somewhere away from food, and computer, and books, and distractions. Squish and I are done with our initial orientation. We’ve walked through all the options. We’ve set up a routine.

• Tuesday is weights on the pneumatic machines, abs, and 30 minutes of cardio.

• Thursday is boxing cardio for an hour on the heavy bag, light cardio on the elliptical, and abs.

• Weekend is one day of hard cardio on the elliptical, Clubs, light sparring on the heavy bag, and one other random item if time permits.



I’d be happier with this set up if I had boxing basics down. Throwing a punch is easy. Throwing a punch correctly is complicated. Your stance is really important. You need to keep your wrist straight. You need to hit the bag with the correct part of your fist. Each kind of punch, uppercut, jab, hook, is a full body exercise with specific form. I’ve gone through 3 classes now. I bought my own gloves for added protection—the gym ones smelled terrible and didn’t fit well. My hand isn’t in pain the day after an hour of bag-work—which is good. I’m getting a great workout—which is better.

I have a lot to learn and…I’m not sure how I’m going to learn it. My concern is partly safety related. I don’t want to injure myself using poor technique. I could go easy on the bag, but it’s difficult to do that—especially when you’re not always sure exactly where the target is. I don’t want to go into actual boxing. I do want to use proper technique. I don’t see the point of doing these things half way. Squish has tried to teach me with some success. I may just have to buy some time with an instructor to work on form. It isn’t sexy, but better that than hurt myself.

Oddly, I’ve come to love cardio. Typically I have two responses to exercise. Either I do it because it’s a part of a routine which has an outcome I value or because I love the process. My efforts before the gym definitely fell into the former category. The gym work falls mainly into the latter. When I’m just standing there moving for the sake of moving, I need music to get my blood running. I need something to distract me from the monotony of what I’m doing. There are points such as when I find myself in perfect physical harmony taking a shot on the range, moving at peak performance on the elliptical, or getting the combination right on the heavy bag when something just “clicks.” You become poetry in motion—even if it’s just in your head—and suddenly the physical side of things is less important. I like the tired feeling after a good workout. I enjoy being able to tell people that I really really exercised. Mostly though it’s about striving for that moment, that mental high and making it last. For whatever reason it’s easier to get to that point at the gym than at home.

The best thing I can say health wise is that I haven’t been able to handle this much intense exercise in a long long time. I am stronger, tougher, and in less pain than in the past. The diet thing is still not up-to-par though. This weekend is our eight year wedding anniversary. I’m going to sit down with the brunette and discuss what we can/will eat that will complement our efforts. I’ve given myself something of a pass while I’m adjusting to the gym and she’s adjusting to work, but that only goes so far. Time to pick things up. When the ninjas come for me, I need to be ready.

The making of an action hero--Something different edition.

A year ago I started seriously training for the next alien invasion, dinosaur reanimation, or Ninja world domination plan. I began eating better, exercising, and generally trying to get more active. A couple weeks ago I severely sprained my ankle. Dealing with this has caused me to review my priorities.


Fitness is less of a race to a goal and more of a life-long adventure. It’s easy to get focused on eating organic, building muscle, losing weight, increasing energy…etc. It’s satisfying to point to that one aspect of fitness and say “yes, I’m winning” even when laser focus on one priority is causing everything else to suffer by comparison. At the end of 2013, I’d lost 40 pounds, started exercising, and begun eating better. By March 2014, foot problems stopped me exercising…which lead to a drop in motivation…which lead to eating worse…which meant that even when I started exercising again I wasn’t able to gain back all of the lost ground or lose the gained weight. I’ve spent the last six months seeking a balance between frequency, intensity, and diversity of activity. Unfortunately, while seeking that balance I let the diet go. I have a health shake for breakfast most mornings. I order out less than in the past. I often seek healthier options. That said, when we do end up eating fast food, I rarely pick from the healthier choices. Often, when I can and should turn down eating out, I don’t. I’m better off than I was a year and a half ago. But, I’m not as well off as I’d like to be either.

The challenge is that fitness, weight loss, making you into a better version of you, requires hundreds of small decisions every day for hundreds of days. It is an ongoing process subject to the vagaries of life and human weakness. The bigger the deck stacked against you, the easier it is to fold and walk away from the game. To continue the metaphor, the more times you walk away from that table, the less likely you are to return for another hand. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to make some structural changes to my approach. It’s easy to prevent my ankle from being sprained again—I just have to get my boots refurbished. That addresses the short term issue while ignoring the larger problem of momentum though. I lost a significant measure of drive over the last couple months. My goal shouldn’t be to make up lost ground, it should be to accelerate. I don’t know if I’m saying this very well. I feel I’ve fallen into the trap of dealing with the little problems, exercising a few times a week, and eating somewhat better and calling that victory when in reality there’s no way my current pace will get me to my goals. I’m pretty sure they call that complacency.

Yesterday Squish and I joined a gym. I love exercising. I hate finding the time to do it. I hate bouncing, jiggling, and sweating my fat ass in front of a bunch of young toned millennials. It’s like high school all over again—with the additional potential to run into a coworker or member of senior management. On the other hand, they don’t matter. I’ve been putting this off because I couldn’t justify the expense in time and coin until I could actually do more than 20 minutes of sustained exercise. As of the last two months I’ve been able to maintain 45 minutes of intense cycling on the stationary bike. Squish wants to get back in shape. We have similar goals. The gym has daycare. The price is reasonable. I get a corporate discount through work. The more I looked at it, the more I convinced myself that not jumping on this opportunity was hypocritical—either I was serious about getting in shape or I wasn’t.

We walked in, dropped MX off at childcare, signed the papers, paid our memberships, filled out a survey, and…started working out. It was like coming back to an old friend. I lifted free weights in high school, college, and even a year after college graduation before exercise fell to the bottom of my to-do-list. We wandered around, tested out the equipment, and talked about a routine. I got 15 minutes on an elliptical, 15 on a recumbent bike, 20 minutes of upper body work on the stack machines, and another 15 on the elliptical while Squish tried out the pool. It felt normal—as if I never quit in the first place.

Today I’m sore. I need to get some dedicated workout shorts and shirts. I need something better than a cloth grocery bag to carry my gear. I have to put together a program. I will be revising my diet. If I’m going to spend 2+ days a week at the gym I need to make sure I balance that with private time with the brunette. There’s a lot to be done. I’m scared that I’m making a big gesture that will end up with Squish and I losing interest and squandering money. But, for the first time in a while, I have hope. I’m savoring the novelty. It feels like I might, just maybe, be able to make this thing work.