The making of an action hero pt34

Entry number 33 I love cooking for large groups. I learned to cook in college—working the short order station at the snack bar and later as a line worker at a café. Ever since then my sense of scale has been optimized around 10-20 guests. When I got my first apartment I had issues preparing meals for just one single solitary person. Fortunately I’ve learned to adapt portions to the perspective audience, but I still look forward to doing the big meal—appetizer, entree, dessert, drinks…and all the fixins. This year we’ll be hosting Thanksgiving for my family and the in-laws. The brunette isn’t a fan of hosting since from her perspective I end up doing all the work while she feels underutilized. She cleans and keeps people out of “my kitchen” while I make the food happen. I get to show off while she makes sure I’m not interrupted by little monsters—it’s difficult to make a three course meal when kids want you to race cars. So it works out well from my perspective. The catch this year is the turkey. I’ve never made one or the gravy, or the stuffing…I’ve always done up a ham or pork shoulder. But the brunette and CO want a real turkey day gobbler—which is fine, I love learning to cook new things even if roast turkey isn’t my thing. The challenge will be making the bird come out right the first time. My mother is giving me her electric poultry roaster—thereby saving my oven a grease bath and freeing up work space. So I’m preparing for this holiday extravaganza early. Any time I’m tasked with a new recipe I go through four stages of optimization, five if I have time. 1. I read as many versions of the recipe as possible. There are thousands of variants on most recipes. People love to tweak dishes, make them in a slowcooker, make them healthy, add bacon…etc. I look for the common elements such as the shared ingredients, the time-saving versions, the little tricks that the commenters use, the ways people jazz it up, and the versions that everyone seems to come back to. I like simple no-fuss recipes that let me mix-and-match ingredients. There’s always the five-star version that requires three $50 specific tools, 72 hours of prep time, and a precise coordination of elements to get the dish “just so.” I love to eat those meals, but hate to make them. So my final choice usually involves the words, simple, easy, or Crockpot. 2. I get a test recipe together and make a sample batch. This used to lead to horrific stories of flaming chicken breasts, brined potatoes, sweet and fruity pasta, and the infamous pepper-steak incident. Now I have enough experience that even if the dish doesn’t come out the way I wanted, it’s usually edible. I’ll stick at this stage until I have the recipe where I want it with the right consistency, texture, flavors, and portions. 3. I plan the meal, integrating the dish into the amount of time I will need for preparation, figuring out how much free space I’ll need on the counters and oven, making sure I have all the required tools, and coordinating the dish’s prep time so the meal components are ready-to-serve at the right intervals. I hate being rushed so I really really try to give myself enough time to make the meal happen with as little stress as possible. 4. I review the components and figure out how to do as much of the prep work ahead of time as possible. I dice veggies and save them in zip lock bags. I dice chicken and freeze it so all I have to do is thaw the package and throw it in the pan. I pre-measure ingredients and mix them up in advance. I buy ingredients in containers that are exactly the portions I need for the recipe—no measuring just open-dump-and done. The less work I have to do the day-of the better. 5. I time the process so that I can clean my cookware as I work. I used to use every pot and pan, every spoon and spatula for every recipe. Cleanup after meals was an event in-and-of-itself. Now I wash as I go, loading up the dishwasher so that when it’s time to serve the bulk of my cleaning is already done. With as little counter and sink space as I have cleaning-as-you-go is a matter of necessity as much as efficiency. I won’t be doing a test run. There isn’t going to be a backup turkey. I won’t be taking any time to refine the recipes—it’s going to be an adventure. I don’t have the time, resources, or inclination to run a full-on thanksgiving dinner twice in one month. I won’t be completely without resources. My mother in-law has agreed to come over early and “help” in the kitchen. For those who don’t know me, the last three words of that sentence hold legendary portent. I absolutely—unequivocally—without reservation hate having people in “my kitchen.” Cooking is a “thing.” Everyone does it differently. Everyone has their own process, their own pet peeves, their own recipes…etc. 99.99% of the time people who offer to “help” cause me more frustration than their assistance is worth. There’s only so much space in our apartment. While they’re helping, I have to work around them. People question ingredients, preparation requirements, and the order of operations. It isn’t intentional, they’re trying to help, but by the time they’re done, I’m usually in a mood—and not a good one. The brunette and I have a running joke. I tell people that she needs to learn her place—outside my kitchen! Ok, it’s only partially funny. My mother in-law is one of maybe three people I can work with who makes cooking easier, faster, simpler. She cleans pans in seconds. She offers helpful suggestions that are actually helpful and relevant. Somehow she’s never in my way. She’s perfectly happy doing that one thing I don’t have time to do like blending the mashed potatoes or glazing the ham or filling the pot with the drippings from the slowcooker—the one thing that is just challenging enough that it slows me down. She follows directions! It’s like magic. So I’m going to have help—good help. I’ve started researching the core components—turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, and mashed potatoes. At first glance making a thanksgiving dinner is terrifying. I have my mashed potato recipe down, but everything else is a separate process, a separate recipe, a new and complex way to screw up the traditional holiday meal. Stuffing doesn’t look that bad really. Gravy looks time consuming, difficult to perfect, but generally doable. Cranberry sauce comes in a can—easy. No, it’s the freaking bird which gives me pause. Let me step back for a moment. Now that I’ve done the research, Figuring out how the meal will go depends on how many people will be there and picking a theme. Between my parents, my mother in-law, my brother in-law, my brothers and their family/significant others, the potential for 4-6 friends, the brunette, and me, I’m cooking for between 10-18 people. I’m counting conservatively—any overage will get saved as leftovers. That means I need about a fifteen pound turkey, at least two desserts, one or two more sides besides the potatoes and stuffing, munchies for guests to graze on before dinner, drinks, and serving materials for everyone. Thanksgiving is potluck so I can count on guests to handle one of the desserts, one of the sides, and a second option from either category. If I make a salad and a dessert, maybe biscuits or bread, I should be fine. I’ll send an email requesting specifics so I can start planning the shopping. I have a couple options for theme. In this case “theme” means the general seasonings and ethnic ingredience I will use to bring the meal together. Initially I wanted to try a Southern bourbon themed meal—bourbon spice rubbed turkey, bourbon pumpkin sage cornbread stuffing, fried green tomatoes, cocktails…then I realized that I was one of the few people who would really go for that theme. I considered bacon—turkey rubbed with butter and bacon drippings and wrapped with bacon, apple and bacon stuffing, pepper bacon gravy, bacon wrapped asparagus skewers…great! except I’m pretty sure it would end up being far too heavy. I considered Indian seasonings, Ethiopian spices, or a Mexican chipotle style all without success. No, especially for my first effort, something simpler and less exotic is in order. I’m going with Italian, a spice pallet that most people will like, the rub for the turkey can use olive oil instead of butter, and I’m comfortable with all my side options. I could stick with traditional American—there’s nothing wrong with the classics. But if I’m going to go to all this effort, I might as well make a project out of it. I love the grand gesture, the big show, the elegant presentation. This is a chance for me to have some fun…so Italian it is. Now back to the bird. It seems there are lots of turkeys—flash-frozen, fresh, frozen, free range, brined, deboned…the list goes on. Initially I wanted a “fresh turkey. Who doesn’t want fresh right? Except that fresh doesn’t mean what it sounds like, it just means the turkey is sent from slaughter straight to the vender. That’d be fine save that the meat is sitting around unfrozen for 48-72 hours before someone picks it off the shelf. That’s not fresh in my book. Ironically, the freshest turkeys are the ones that are flash-frozen just as they are slaughtered. There’s probably some preservatives in there, but you’re getting a turkey that once thawed is functionally closer to the time of slaughter than its “fresh” brethren. So frozen it is. The other big question is brined or unbrined. Brining is just what it sounds like. The turkey is injected with salt water to keep it moist. Some cooks prefer to do this themselves with their own special blend of spices, but you can buy turkeys in the store pre-brined all be it without the secret family seasonings. The alternative is to “salt” the turkey the day before cooking. After it is thawed, you rub the turkey, inside and out, with a layer of salt and spices. The sodium draws the juices to the surface where they take on the flavor of the rub. Also, the salt locks the juices in—resulting in a juicier bird. If I go this route, called dry brining, I can pick my own seasonings and my turkey won’t be filled with chemical salt water. That’s good enough for me. So what I want is a flash-frozen unbrined 15 pound turkey. I’ll need to finalize the recipes for each dish and get a master grocery list together. Over the next few weeks I will go over each recipe here. If anyone has any feedback or suggestions I’d love to hear from you. Weight=280.6 Intake: Breakfast=health shake. Work meal=a pepper turkey wrap and an apple. Dinner=3 home made chicken biscuits.

The making of an action hero pt33

Entry #34 This mission update comes courtesy of a few weeks of down time. September forced me to reconsider some of my training practices. I reached a point where I was exercising every day. I felt great and was losing weight. I hit my August goals with room to spare. Then I started having “issues.” My knees began complaining. My back began twanging. My weight hit a plateau. I felt terrible. A certain amount of discomfort is to be expected—no pain, no gain. The issue being that it was getting more and more difficult to get “life” done. I could feel my mental fortitude slipping. I’m not much on self-help feel-good philosophy. I’d rather read a how-to book than attend a counseling session. That said, one of the lessons I’ve taken from internet feel-good wisdom is that identifying a problem is half of the solution. I found two issues in this case. First, I was looking at the club workout from the wrong perspective. There are two kinds of exercise. There’s aerobic—running, swimming…etc and anaerobic—weightlifting, wrestling…etc. The first can be done daily provided one takes the proper steps to protect muscles and joints. The second is designed to break down muscle tissue with short bursts of effort. The muscle then heals stronger than before—provided one gives it time to do so. I viewed the club workout as more of the first and less of the second, which is why I strove to push through it every-day. The result was that I didn’t give myself much time to heal. I fought through it for a while because initially it was helping and because later I didn’t want to quit, frail flesh be damned. I didn’t want to have to tell people that I had failed. The second issue is what the brunette not-so-lovingly calls my martyr complex. Honor, duty, responsibility aren’t just words to me. They are the words I strive to live by. Usually that works to everyone’s benefit. The dark side of the coin comes when, to meet my obligations, I “suffer” needlessly—on purpose. In this case I limited my diet, structured my time, and virtually cut ordering out and alcohol cold turkey. Much like with the exercise, those choices initially benefitted me. I was proud of making good decisions. Starting a new chapter in my life was fresh and exciting. Every victory supported the idea that I was going to win this time. Then I started losing motivation. It got more and more difficult to get up in the morning. My appetite spiked outside meal times. I didn’t want to “do” things as much…but I didn’t want to quit. I looked at my intakes for September and found some not-so-great trends. Either I was sticking rigidly to the diet or I was taking a day off. There weren’t any terrible choices in there; just an evolving cycle of swinging that clearly was going to get worse if steps weren’t taken. Even though I was succeeding, mostly, it felt like I was failing because I wasn’t losing weight at the previous rate. It’s fair to say that some of my issues came from simply losing the novelty of living better. It’s also fair to say I made some short term positive decisions that had long term negative consequences. So I found myself discouraged, in physical discomfort, and generally not feeling great. Fortunately the scale saved me. Watching my weight yo-yo around showed me that I was losing control. I took a week off from exercising to let my body heal. My weight ranged from 281 to 286 depending on my intake. That too pushed me to start paying more attention—some variation is fine, but there shouldn’t be 4 pound swings in a normal week just “because.”I feel like I’ve been learning all the lessons of the past four months over again—which is maybe true in a sense. It’s one thing to stick to the plan when things are going well. It’s something else when it clearly isn’t working. So I’m going to work on training my mind-and-body. Some of the upcoming projects include: • As of last week, I’m exercising every other day. I’ll go twice on weekends if I feel like it, but otherwise my body needs the healing time. • I have started baking. Making my own desserts is a skill I’ve wanted to develop for a while. This will let me enjoy some sweets while controlling the quantity and quality in the house. The first batch of pumpkin bread came out really well. I’ve added several new pieces of cookware to my Amazon wish list in order to facilitate this endeavor. • I am setting aside a portion of each pay check’s discretionary funds. I will use those funds to save up for a single expensive item or service. This will help me work on impulse control. • I am focusing on action hero equipment and beast-cave ™ so as to keep the sense of purpose and fun going. Somewhere I lost sight of the fun factor…so I need to get that back. • I am finally switching laptops to my windows 7 machine. I’ve been putting that switch off for months now despite mounting technical issues with my poor 7 year old XP platform. I need to simply do things that need to get done, not keep putting them off. • We will be hosting thanksgiving this year for our combined families. I’m going to make the obligatory turkey, stuffing, gravy, and mashed potatoes. I’ve never cooked a bird before, so even with my mother’s electric poultry roaster, this should be an adventure. I’ve been reading up on recipes and techniques in preparation for the big day—giving me something new to obsess over. This has been lots of fun. I am getting tons of new meal ideas. • I’ve discovered kickstarter. It’s like having your own personal department of Qs developing new and exciting gear for the next mission. This is one of those places where I will always be able to find something novel to obsess over. • I am going to sit down this week and go through the cardio portion of the club video myself. I’ve been trying to get a sighted friend to assist but schedules never seem to sink up. It’s time for a step forward down the workout path. • I am rededicating myself to gaming. Saturday we had a great pathfinder session run by lady Deathquaker. Sunday I ran my current exalted group and for the first time felt like the game was going somewhere. I’m trying not to push for games just “because.” It’s so much more fun when I’m into the experience. • I am pimppin out the chromebook and putting forth a meaningful effort to start using it as my mobile computing platform. Now that I’ve figured out how to theoretically use it with office products, it looks much more attractive than in the past. I have a ways to go, but things are heading back in the right direction. I have projects to work on, a plan, and the better part of my motivation back. Weight today=285. Intake: Breakfast=A breakfast health shake with oatmeal, spinach, strawberries, blueberries, banana, and almond milk. Work meal=A turkey wrap, Greek yogurt, an apple, and a hand full of unsalted almonds. Dinner=a small portion of Mexican chicken rice and a piece of pumpkin bread.

The making of an action hero pt32

Entry #31. The past couple weeks have been good to me. My solar savaging from the tubing adventure is finally healing up. As of today I’m down to 282.6 pounds, putting me at a total loss of 30 pounds for project action hero. Last weekend I walked through the topiary gardens with agent Squish and hiked around town with Deathquaker. I’ve managed to keep generally on target despite eating out more than I’d like. I’m also discovering that moderation is more important than I thought. After several days of chronic aches and pains, I’ve lightened up on the sets and reps in my morning workout. It’s hard enough getting up in the morning, I’m concerned that pushing myself too often before my muscles have had time to warm up may do more damage than good. I’m hoping to go through the cardio section of my club video this weekend. The parts I’ve been doing so far have become relatively easy. I think adding another series to the workout will make me more comfortable cutting back to two sets of each exercise group instead of three. If you’ve never done this before, fat people have to be careful how much stress they put on their working joints. You can do irreparable damage to knees, ankles, and shoulders if you push them too far. I can feel myself getting stronger. My muscles are more firm. I have more power and grace in my movements. If I let that growth push me into overconfidence though I’ll do something stupid. Along the same lines, I’ve tried to ease up on the dietary restrictions every once in a while. At first I thought cravings were just a symptom of mental weakness. Now I’m not so sure. The cheeseburger/charred meat thing seems to hit after I’ve been avoiding beef products for a while. The wracking hunger seems to hit after I’ve been working out heavily. I’ve proven to myself that I can eat healthily. Now I think I need to make sure that the strict dieting I’ve been doing doesn’t end up with me so deprived that I go intermittently crazy. On other fronts, my battle group arrived from BTP, so I’m now officially able to start playing warmachine again. I’ve got some khador models I’ll be trying to trade at a swap meet in October. So until then I’ll be looking to play smaller games. It will be nice to get back into miniature gaming. RPG time has been lacking lately. Dragonstorm hasn’t taken off like I wanted and most of my other RPGs are languishing for various reasons. I need to see if agent Corc is interested in stopping by Titan games this weekend. WMTrainguy and I need to get in some more warmachine and flames of war. I really want to try out my painted fourth Indians at Titan, heck my Khador too. Of course, that requires me to read up on the rules, but I’ll get there. It feels lately like I have to work a lot more at my hobbies. Deathquaker has agreed, tentatively, to take on my proposed legion project time and finances permitting. That project won’t start until March though. The rest of my Khador is waiting on funding. I’d like to play/run more RPGs, but enthusiasm is limited. We’ll be starting a new Iron Kingdoms RPG soon, so hopefully that pans out well. Every other Thursday seems doable. I’m looking for that next thing to take my fancy—preferably something with a minimal monetary component. Maybe I’ll take a trip up to Alternate Worlds and see what game nights they have open. I need to find something to obsess over that won’t cost a fortune. It seems like every “thing” I encounter lately either fizzles out or requires thousands of dollars of investment to get where I want to go. Perhaps it’s time for me to finish up the beast cave and focus on something else, like creative writing. In the mean time it’s off to friends’ dinner this evening followed by one of the few completely free weekends we’ve had recently. Intake for today: Breakfast=A fruit shake, very unsatisfying. I’ll be using more of our pumpkin over the weekend and getting some more almond milk and bananas. The difference between a smoothie and a shake is apparently the portion of frozen fruit you put in—who knew. I’m not a fan of smoothies, so must strive for more shake-like breakfasts. Work meal=an apple, a cheese stick, and an egg salad wrap with a side of tuna salad. I was particularly hungry today. Having recently finished off my stash of unsalted almonds, I broke my three month ban on the cafeteria to supplement my lunch. That was…disappointing. The food was ok, but I have no special desire to return. Note to self, must bring in snacks on Monday and make up some new wraps. I obviously need to switch up my lunch selection. Dinner=whatever the friends put out, reportedly pizza, salad, garlic bread, and dessert of some kind. My plan is to have two pieces of pizza and then if I’m still hungry attack the salad without mercy. Unless the dessert is really good, resisting shouldn’t be that hard. Of course the wife in that pair works at wegmans so who knows what delicacies will be present.

Fun With Hordes

I haven’t played warmahordes in three years. So in expectation of playing again I’ve been reading up on hordes—generating the following musings. Picking a warmachine faction is all about style. Big, Slow, power=Khador. Cinergy, fire, denial=Menoth. Shooting, lightning, tricks=Cygnar. Undead, fast, maledictions=Cryx. That’s oversimplifying it a bit, but you get the point. Within each faction’s limitations you can play any kind of army you want—infantry spam, tuff troops, jack heavy, fast, shooty, magic heavy, denial…etc. Your choice of caster predisposes you toward certain army builds or your choice of army predisposes you toward certain casters—same thing. What I’m getting at is that warmachine is a mature war-game. The factions are constructed in such a way as to make one choice lead seamlessly into the next. The model range and mechanics are well fleshed out. Theme lists reward players for taking fictionally appropriate armies. So picking Khador was about the style of game I wanted to play. Hordes is different. The fury mechanic means that instead of getting a set amount of resources at the beginning of the turn, a warlock drains the energy spent by his warbeasts the previous turn. If his warbeasts don’t spend energy/fury than the warlock has to take damage to cast spells. There is no resource allocation involved. Additionally, there is a limit to how much fury each warbeast can hold. If the warlock can’t drain it all, then the warbeast risks going berserk, possibly attacking its companions. As a result hordes is a game of risk management. A side effect of this relationship is that warlocks are very reliant on their warbeasts. It’s recommended that warcasters take a jack. Warlocks are required to take a warbeast, usually several. Each warbeast comes with its own unique spell-like ability which they can cast once a turn. The warlock gains access to this ability as a temporary addition to their spell list. Basically warlocks and warbeasts are inextricably linked on a fundamental level. Because of this, looking at hordes factions is as much about the beasts as the warlock. Each pairing has a distinct character. Because each warbeast is a resource generator, force projector, and temporary spell enhancer, choosing which beasts, how many beasts, and what caster to take ends up being more of an art than a science. I keep finding myself rereading beast and warlock entries to verify synergies and strategies. Warmachine has its own uniformity. Cygnar is at the top end of the technology scale. Cryx is out there on the mutation ladder. Even so PP has done a good job presenting the WM factions as the civilized cultures of Western Immoren. Perhaps it’s just that warmachine has what I consider the archetypal fantasy divisions. The sociopolitical makeup of the land is pretty standard—big bad expansionist faction, religious theocracy, enlightened technologically savvy nation, evil supernatural terrors…etc. Hordes is refreshingly free of preconceived notions. The races are sometimes drawn from stock fantasy tropes, but manage to distinguish themselves from that ancestry. For me this comes down to the staggering variety of warbeasts in the range. You can find just about any monster you’ve ever read about, from dragons to golems, from mammoths to hydra. In warmachine a jack is a jack. When someone says warbeast, you can only guess as to what creature they are referring to. There are four primary and two secondary hordes factions. I like the thematic differences in hordes more than warmachine. Not only are the models demonstrably different, but the feets and spells depart from the WM standard mess-with X-mechanic theme as well. The skorne are a nation of pain obsessed, ancestor worshipping, expansionist slavers. Their armies tend to focus on attrition and assassination. Their models feature high melee quotients backed up with excellent armor. Their warbeasts consist of cyclopee, basilisks, elephants, and other Romanic themed creatures. They are the big slow faction—leavened with a healthy dose of soul manipulation. I’m not very impressed with the Skorne. They seem a little too attention seeking for my taste—like a bunch of dark elf wanabees with daddy issues. “Just so you know, we’re evil, really evil.” “Really?” “Oh yes, we do very bad things…and we’re mean.” “Hmmph, if you say so.” “No really we kick puppies for fun and J-walk. We wear white before and after labor day.” “Shocking.” Reading through their warlock list is amusing and kind of sad by turns—each one of their locks tries to one-up the other on the badness scale. I have the same problem with the Romulans from star trek. It isn’t that I don’t see them as threats, it’s just that they seem so damned earnest about it—they want so very much to put on their big-boy pants and be a grown up antagonist. The circle is a collection of tribal warriors who worship the elemental gods of nature and destruction—think druids crossed with Chuck Norris. Their armies focus on movement and terrain manipulation with a definite slant toward alpha strike and denial. They have three main warbeast families, Satyrs, wolves, and golems/stone constructs. Not surprisingly, many of their abilities are focused around forest creation, manipulation, and exploitation. They have some unusual warlocks, one of which spends his time tied at the hip to a stationary tree, another who rides a war-goat, and yet another who shifts between human and beast forms. For all that variety the circle feels like a faction of gimmicks and cheap tricks to me. They have plenty of utility and versatility. They have excellent models. They lack that essential something—that spark which would take them from an internally coherent faction to a compelling movement. The troll bloods are the varied genetic offshoots of the troll species unified under a banner of honor and vengeance. Nations like Cygnar have defaulted on so many promises to exchange service for land that the trolls are taking what they feel they are owed by force. Their armies are small tuff—literally, units that rely on group bonuses and stellar resilience to defeat their opponents. Their warbeasts come from a plethora of savage trolls including some wielding acid, fire, ice, and earth magic. Their army is almost entirely built on medium to large bases—trading quantity for quality. The trollbloods are nominally the protagonists of the hordes world—being the only group with a morally justifiable reason for reeking carnage on an epic scale. They are big, blue, and really hard to kill. I kind of like these guys. Most of their warcasters are uninspiring—save Borka Keg slayer. Seriously, who doesn’t want to play a giant troll in a fir collar and codpiece who runs around with a pigmy carrying a keg of booze for him drinking his way to victory? Trolls have the same mildly comic aspect that orcs and goblins have held for time immemorial. Despite the fact that they are the toughest kids on the playground, it’s difficult to get past the whole big and blue shtick. I really would like to like them more, but they feel sort of one dimensional, not attention seeking like the Skorne or boring like the circle, but lacking thematic variety. In fairness to the cerulean tuff guys, some of my ambivalence stems from the fact that trolls are the big tuff faction of hordes—filling the same spot in the factional Meta as Khador does for warmachine. It feels conformist to prefer forces of the same type regardless of the game—and really who wants to be type cast? That brings us to the legion of everblight. Ah legion, how I love thee. The legion is an army of corrupted winter elves and draconic monsters in service to the dragon everblight. Their armies tend to run very fast with many glass cannons. Currently they have some of the best warlocks in the game. Their beasts come in several different flavors including: • Lesser warbeasts, basically mini warbeasts with great abilities but no endurance. • Nephilim, draconic blood crossed with winter elves to make a series of light warbeasts that wield weapons and can fly. • Classic draconic beasts that fly and wield a breath weapon. • Various reptilian monsters spawned from the blighted blood of their warlocks. I love legion. That’s partly because Everblight’s story is beautiful. He’s taken over a nation of elves by proxies and is fighting his father smarter—not harder. His warlocks are just plane awesome. It doesn’t hurt that several of them hale from the frozen north—a theme that has always resonated well with me. The big part of legion is the beasts. They have winged creatures. Beautiful deadly creatures. The thing that always drove me away from Cryx was that they were dirty and nasty. You can paint them up as polished killing machines, but in the back of my head I will always think of them as rotting animate corpses. Legion are alive but corrupted in spirit. So yes, that’s going to happen, sometime, in the future, after my Khador is done, when I have the money…sigh. Minions are the hordes equivalent to mercenaries. They are secondary forces meant to support the main factions either with supplementary troops or with cooperative casters. There are currently two minion factions. The blindwater congregation is a group of alligator men, deep ones, and frog people lead by voodoo priests, alligator zombies, and a bastard fishman. Their warbeasts consist of skeleton swarms, giant alligators, an acid spitting turtle, and a swamp horror straight out of Lovecraft. Just so we’re clear on this, these guys are happening too. I read the units for this group and had spent a week doing the research before I realized what had happened. Almost as good as Legion…almost. The thornfall alliance is a group of pigmen striving to take over the world. They are lead by an egomaniac, a human mad scientist who converts pigs into cyborgs, a necromancer pig, and a cyberpig with a split personality. Their warbeasts are fast pigs, cyberpigs, and pigs with guns on their back. Their rules are totally awesome. Most of the warbeasts have a rule called “bacon” where when the warbeast dies, any friendly warbeasts in contact heal damage…because of the healing power of bacon! I can’t take them seriously but they really do rock. I want to play hordes now. Considering my caster and jacks just arrived for our escalation league and I have mucho infantry to get, this is going to have to wait a bit. But damn, want to make a legion force of dragons.

A letter to Shawn Gately and Blue Table Painting

Shawn, Thank you for the prompt response. When you get back into the office can you clarify the timeline for me? We are apparently operating under different expectations regarding how quickly this project will be completed. 1. On 8/17/13 you said “Turnaround would be 1-2 weeks. However, I think it could be faster than that, since I have found the models locally. I've got them on hold for me at a local shop. If you checked in every three days I am confident it could be done within the coming week. But I'd need you to check in.” 2. On 8/24/13 you said “Got your Instructions and your Marauders are on order, thank you. I'm out to Valhalla this coming week, but as soon as I'm back everything should be in and a go.” At this point I had added two models to the project and you were waiting for them to arrive. 3. Again on 8/24/13 you said “It will be six days for your Marauders to arrive. There will be nothing to report I'm sorry to say.” At this point you had my deposit, my instructions, and I assumed were six days from project start. Based on your original email to me which said, “Matthew, Hey there, thought you might be interested in this. I am reaching out to a few clients from years past. I have put together a small team of artists, plus myself to take a few no-waiting projects. This includes Joseph (a master miniatures painter) and Renn (a master assembler).” I was given to understand that as soon as my deposit and models were in hand your veteran team would start on the project with a 1-2 week completion date, sooner if I called regularly. As of 8/24/13, that would mean assembly and painting of my five models should have begun approximately 8/30/13, 9/3/13 if delayed till after the holiday. According to your most recent email 9/7/13, “I just got in from Comic Con and it's super-late, but I wanted you to know I got this email. I talked with Mike D. about your project today and he's on standby to start it up this coming week. All is well. I will re-read this and re-respond again soon....” My models have been sitting for the last week with your master team with no work being done. So everything is not “well.” So you can understand where I’m coming from here, I’ve recently read some extremely critical reviews of BTP, its employees, and the quality of its finished product. I’ve spent more than $3,000 with you and BTP in the past. While there were issues, the projects generally were satisfactorily completed. I undertook this project with the expectation that the best of the best were standing by to begin work on my battle group. That is apparently not the case. This lends credence to every poor review I’ve read—all from the last 12 months. Simply put, I feel like I have been misled. You pushed for my deposit and now that you have my money the project isn’t a priority. I specifically went with BTP because of your quoted turn around and your claim that master artisans were on staff to handle my project. As of today, the first was apparently false advertising and the second is in question. I’m not trying to force your hand. As a concerned customer on your supposed short list I want you to understand how this looks. Going forward, please set realistic expectations and meet them. My future patronage and thousands of dollars are dependent on your ability to deliver on these promises. Please provide a revised start and completion date for this project. Sincerely, Matthew Nixon

The making of an action hero pt31

Entry #30. Today was one of the bestest days ever. I got up at 6 and did three full sets with the clubs to the music of halo II. The brunette, WMTrainguy, his wife and son (agent E), and I set out for the Shenandoah river a little after 8 with a 12 pack of red’s apple ail and a metric ton of my pasta salad in toe. We met up with my mother in law and made our way to the entry point for the upcoming patrol. Agent WMTrainguy and the mother in law (hence forth agent T) caravanned both vehicles down to the destination point and drove one car back so we would have exfiltration at both ends of the trip. Knowing that we would be in mild water and inner tubes for most of the patrol, I left the emergency pack at home and stuck with a Gerber carabiner tool clipped through a hole in my shirt tale. We got into our tubes, tied them together, attached the two tubes for the coolers, and set off down current. The sun looked down from a cloudless blue sky with a mild breeze stirring the air. I relaxed back into the tube holding a red’s with nothing important to do all day. It was immediately clear to me why I had never heard of this pastime. It was so pleasant that nobody wanted to give up the secret lest the river become congested with evolutionary excrement. Seriously. The only part of my body supporting any weight at all was the hand with the bottle. The river lapped slowly around us and time slowed. WMTrainguy came to the rescue, out heroing me handily, when the coolers broke free and almost smashed themselves on the rocks. He rescued the alcohol and my good mood as well as keeping our little tube-train together. After that we just floated down stream talking, relaxing, and exchanging empties for new bottles. There was some completely uncalled for splashing of this worthy by heartless “friends” but otherwise the trip was a resounding success. The three hours of lazy comfort ended far too soon. We then retreated to agent T’s home for a cookout. Hooo boy, nothing caps off an afternoon of aquatic patrolling like a plate full of charred meat and pasta salad. That is the essence of a good time. Nothing but living in the moment, no fears, no worries, nowhere to go, just good food and friends. Things I learned this trip: 1. Next time, bring water shoes. The bottom of the river and the parking lot are covered in rocks. I managed to go barefoot, but it wasn’t easy. I would have been severely impaired had there been an emergency. 2. Cheap sunglasses would have been nice. That sun was fantastic, but right over head. 3. Bigger tube/raft and more time on the river. We weren’t able to tie off at the end, so had to rely on people to hold the tube train in place. I’ll be looking at the cost of an inflatable boat/raft to help with that process next year if we don’t go sooner. 4. Talk to the entire group about food/drinks in advance. Our 12 pack worked out fine, but it would have been nice to get something for everyone. Also, WMTrainguy’s wife (I really need to find something better to call her) made pasta salad as well because we didn’t coordinate. 5. It is entirely useless to use suntan lotion on your face and arms, wear a shirt, and forget to put sun block on your legs and feet while you are stretched out face up to the sky for three hours. I was proud of my preparations until we started home and my legs started feeling like someone had covered them in superglue every time I tried to move. 6. Mint oil is an excellent home remedy for sunburns—really—seriously—it works. Judging by the amount of pain I was in it also might work on radiation burns. Have to look into that. 7. Going to do this again, after my legs heal. Weigh in today after exercise=284.6 pounds. Intake today: Breakfast=a health shake with oatmeal, almond milk, spinach, and a banana. Patrol meal=several red’s apple ales—I dunno how many. I didn’t drink them all, I was sober the entire time, and everybody got some. Lunch/dinner=two helpings of pasta salad and 4 burgers. I stopped before I gorged, but by almost 4pm, I hadn’t eaten anything since 8 that morning and I was really hungry and it was really good. I figure for two meals it wasn’t terrible. I need to add more beef into my diet so the smell of charring meat doesn’t turn me into a barbarian on the hunt.

The making of an action hero pt30

Entry #29. This has been a great day. Action hero training has been taking a lot out of me lately, especially with back and foot issues. I’ve countered with getting to bed earlier, a focus on stretching, and clamping down on the diet. Adding in the spiral wheel part of my club work out didn’t help matters. I’ve been stiff, sore, and in various levels of pain all week…until today. I awoke at 5:00, and for the first time didn’t feel like Cro-Magnon dragging my knuckles on the ground. Going to bed at 9 probably helped with that. Getting eight hours of sleep makes it easier to get up in the morning—who knew? I’ve been relying on inspirational music to substitute for actual wakedness while using the clubs. Recent selections have included the soundtracks to the rock, transformers, and pirates of the Caribbean. I start thinking and moving in time with the music. As the heroic score reaches its climax, I am fully vested in the action/workout. Today featured “Video Games Live” which is an orchestral rendition of popular video game themes. Finishing up with the title tracks from Halo and Castle Vania got the day started on the right note. Here at the end of the day I’m still stiff and in some small pain. My right shoulder is definitely feeling the burn and my lower back still has occasional twinges. That being said, I’m worlds better off than I was a week ago. I start off my workout fighting to stretch and move and by the end my muscles and joints are all warmed up, moving in something like harmony. Tomorrow the Brunette, WMTrainguy, his wife and son, my in-laws, and I will be going on an aquatic patrol. We’ll be posing as locals by traveling in some inner tubes—complete with a cooler full of adult beverages while coasting down the river. I’ve had some body modesty issues for years now, ever since I put on weight. Even with a shirt and shorts on, this will be a step down the road toward confronting those issues. Avoiding pool parties is one thing. I’m not going to let my hang ups stop me from seeing the people I care about though. Weigh in today was 286.4 pounds after my workout. I’ve taken back the ground I lost last weekend. I made a health-a-fied version of my pasta salad for tomorrow. It consists of whole wheat pasta, a pepper medley, plumb tomatoes, white onion, cilantro, snow pees, grated carrots, and craft light dressing. Craft is the only company that seems to actually make “light” dressings worth the name any more. Intake today: Breakfast=a health shake with a banana, strawberries, oatmeal, blueberries, and almond milk. Work meal=a pepper turkey wrap, an apple, and some unsalted almonds. Dinner=the left over meatloaf and a couple mini peanut butter cups.

The making of an action hero pt29

Entry #28. Some days you can win the battle but lose the war. That’s about how I feel today. Friday was a challenge which I met and conquered. I weighed in that morning at 286 pounds. The doctor clocked me as losing 17 pounds since April and 38 pounds since July 2012. I ended up averaging well under 290 for the week and hitting my goal for the day. My cholesterol dropped more than 30 points since last time, cutting to 191. Thursday my foot began acting up, again, which rendered exercising difficult. I persevered, but not without a great deal of soaking and stretching. Still, a victory hard fought and won. The brunette lost weight and ended up with better blood pressure than me…I’m going to have to work on that. We left there, hit target for a few essentials and one of my rewards for averaging under 290 for a week, a new nurf blaster. I will review some of the nurf products in a future post, but let’s just say that grabbing a dart launcher capable of mounting a rotating caddy with up to eight magazines is awesome. The walk over to the shopping center for lunch proved challenging both because of having to walk cross country and because I hadn’t actually done that route in a few years. I kept making mistakes, misremembering things, and having to say over-and-over again that the brunette was right. She loved it, me, not so much. We met up with WMTrainguy for lunch at our favorite Japanese steak house. They have a $10.99 all you can eat sushi bar as well as the normal hibachi options. Since we got there early, I ordered a beer and a Philadelphia roll—smoked salmon, avocado, cream cheese, and rice. At that point I hadn’t eaten anything in over 24 hours. The tender salmon, soy sauce and wasabi, perfectly blended textures and flavors, all in contrast to the crisp Sapporo exploded onto my pallet. It was truly glorious. The staff there likes us, probably because we bring them a lot of business and because we really enjoy eating there. Ever have a perfect meal? Something so good that it redefines the definition of fine dining? That’s how I felt about that sushi. It must have showed, because the hostess kept bringing us more and more rolls on the house—I suspect just to replicate the process of lifting me to nirvana. It was so good that I passed on filet and went with the sushi bar and another beer. We returned home to do some reading and work with the cleaning lady to organize our apartment. We went through all of our DVDs, culling out the ones we can send to DVD swap. It turns out I have 3 of four ultimate James Bond collector sets. I’m going to be watching a lot of bond in the next couple months. It’s nice to put your house in order, literally. We have a long way to go before our home is a picture of tasteful elegance, but things are moving in that direction. That evening agent Squish and I went to a gathering of friends for dinner and socializing. I had a bowl of chili and a few beers. I spent the evening out on the porch watching one of our acquaintances inexpertly hit on another acquaintance. That was where the mischief started. The two beers at lunch were fine. The three beers and mixed drink I had with dinner were excessive. There was no hang over, no sickness, I just felt bad Saturday morning. The truth is that I brought a six pack of duckpin IPA as a courtesy—growing up in the South; you don’t go to meals at other peoples’ homes empty handed. I didn’t have to bring that beer. The brunette and I are part of a larger circle of friends that take it in turns hosting these weekly dinners. We put our dues in every time we help Squish and the Jew host. I did it anyway and ended up drinking more than I should have; not because I got drunk, I was only a bit buzzed throughout the evening, not because I couldn’t afford the calories, but because those last few beers went down more as reflex than because I was particularly interested. This reinforces my commitment to only bring alcohol to special events. That poor decision set the tone for the rest of the weekend, a trend I’m not proud of. Saturday was the first day I hadn’t worked out in two weeks. My foot was killing me and we had to get dressed up for a wedding early. I put on a black suit, red shirt, and gray and red striped tie. Deathquaker and the brunette, looking fabulous, escorted me to the nuptials celebration. We got there five minutes late due to traffic and ended up missing the first third of the ceremony. After that, we retired to a local eatery for the reception. There we were served heaping plates of breakfast fair, including eggs benedict, bacon, fruit, and a bagel. The food was excellent. Although the reception was a little disorganized, everything ended well. We reconnected with some old friends and got to wish the bride and groom a happy life together. By the time we got home my back was killing me and my foot was worse. This happened because I sat in a car for almost four hours and because my old dress shoes offer little support. I can fight through discomfort. I can deal with pain. Chronic, ongoing pain saps your will though. I spent Sunday reading swords of exodus, medicating, stretching, and soaking where needed. I managed a short workout that evening. By that point I was really feeling the lack of exercise. You wouldn’t think one day off would matter that much. But with the lax diet those past few days, the issues with my back and foot, and with me on anti-inflamitories and pain killers, exercise was high on my list of priorities. Monday, MX and Squish came over for lunch. I made the group Italian sandwiches with Kiser rolls, pepperoni, provolone cheese, red onion, and tomatoes with cilantro marinated in light Italian dressing. I had a few pieces of the meat and cheese, but ended up having the last bit of my Indian meatball dish for lunch. Squish helped me work through the next segment of the starting club work out DVD. I’d been doing 2 of the original six exercises wrong, although not badly so. The next three, titled the spiral wheel, are much more joint intensive. They require a great deal more attention to alignment so as to avoid making unfortunate mistakes. I’m getting there slowly. There are certain exercises that are just going to take a while. I have very short legs and arms. I’m not particularly flexible. I have to build up the range of motion and physical strength to do some of these exercises. I’m not going to kill myself, pushing your joints too far is a potential disaster waiting to happen. As I practice more things will improve. That evening I made meatloaf with lean ground beef, hot Italian sausage, carrots, red peppers, onions, and some left over ground cheese. I finished off the brunette’s portion. My apatite is fading due to the meds, which is a mixed blessing. Today I started at 291.2 pounds. I didn’t expect to keep the 286, but keeping under 290 would have been nice. I’m looking at this past holiday weekend as a learning experience. I have the strength of character to make good choices when things are going well. I don’t have the strength to do so when I’m deprived (which is what happens when you starve yourself for 24 hours.) I made some bad and good choices. In the end what I came away with is that you can’t cheat the system. I’m going to focus back on eating well and exercising regularly and give a little less focus to the number. I’m losing weight or building muscle. As long as I’m doing one or the other it really doesn’t matter. I put in a good 45 minutes with the clubs before dinner. With the muscles loosened up and warmed in the shower I feel better than I have since the start of my “issues.” It feels good to be back in the game. This is a small setback. I will overcome.

Warmachine, Building the force.

I like building armies. The list revision and collection process is half the fun of playing. I love tweaking rosters until I end up with a list that makes best use of points and style As noted previously, I’ve begun collecting Khador again. I’ve started this project by deciding what I want/need for a maximum list before buying my first model. Starting with the warcaster, I knew that I’d be playing in casual games against a wide range of skills, styles, and armies. I wanted a warcaster who could compare favorably to those opponents, but who wouldn’t prove an auto-win option against any of them. Warmachine provides a lot of flavor for its casters by giving each of them a theme list. I decided that I’d stick to the chosen caster’s list—so whichever character was chosen would need to have a roster I would enjoy playing and that my opponents would enjoy playing against. I reviewed the available casters and came up with the following: • Vlad in all his incarnations is amazing. Unfortunately his theme list is pikeman-centric, making him far too one dimensional and model heavy for me. Sad, because up until now he’s been my favorite caster. • Karchev is a great caster in this format, especially since he is primarily a jack and man-o-war commander. I’m not much on Gray lords, but he has potential. • The butcher has always appealed to me. Version one has a nice mix of infantry and jack abilities blended with a jack and man-o-war theme list. I really want to play version two, but the infantry count would be high and I don’t think my opponents would enjoy facing 18 tuff doomreavers. I haven’t seen any specifics on version three, but supposedly he comes with two pet warbeasts. At the time of this writing, he’s not available to purchase, so he’s out. • Both versions of Sorscha are great. Unfortunately, she loves her winter guard far too much. Version one has an assassination feet if ever there was one. I’m trying to avoid casters that come down to do x and win. I’ll keep her battle box and Beast 09, but she’s out of the running. • I really want to like the old witch except her theme list requires kossites. I hate throwaway units. Also, she is definitely denial themed, again, not fun for my opponents. She’s a good match for my style of play, so maybe I’ll hold her in reserve. • Both the Irusks are about infantry and lots of it. He has a great list of spells and abilities, but I can’t handle the army required to take advantage of his tier lists. • Zerkova is just interesting enough that I might want to play her. From a composition standpoint, her themed force is flexible without being overpowered. The issue is that she suffers from battlefield identity crisis—a disorder that afflicts many warcasters. She is clearly a support caster lacking the requisite means to survive the front ranks, and yet that’s exactly where she needs to be to make best use of her spells. I’d take her as a companion to butcher II or Karchev since their theme lists are somewhat complimentary, but otherwise not as a primary caster. • Strakhov is a great caster, really frigging amazing. His spells, Ohmygod! Can we say dream list? Fast, check. Some denial? Check. Board control? Check. Feet that totally bones an opponent? Double check. His tier list has assault-co—man---dos? Wa--Wa. Why did such a great caster get stuck with one of the worst units in the Khador inventory? His tier list not only features one of the most annoying units possible, but also is infantry heavy. Regrettably, he gets the axe. • Harkevich is the man. Coming from Khador that’s saying something. A spell that removes knock down and stationary from his entire battle group? A spell that lets his entire battle group take a free shot? How about a spell that lets a model/unit reroll all missed to-hit rolls? What about a warcaster who gives the entire battle group a boost to movement and pathfinder? His feet adds 3 arm to his entire battle group plus bonuses to movement and charges. His tier list is pretty sweet too, especially if you put in some of the big AOE hitters. Yes, I think he’s amazing. He gives Khador mobility, firepower, and a variety of tactical options that it just didn’t have before. I’m left with a few partial matches and two definite options. I spent some time looking between the two casters. Butcher has a PP recommended league list. Harkevich has great synergy with all the jacks I love. Ultimately it came down to the fact that I don’t want to start out by taking any named jacks, solos, or units. I want a themed list that lets me play without overpowered or game swinging abilities, just me and strategy working for the win. Harkevich’s tier list requires Black Ivan which is a reasonable character jack but still breaks with my preference. So, Butcher won that round. I’ll come back to the iron wolf if I ever want a second caster; But the Butcher has it for now. Next comes picking a list for the big guy. Fortunately, his theme list and my preferences make this fairly easy. From battle college: Tier Requirement Benefit T 1 Khador non-character warjacks, Kossite Woodsmen, Widowmakers, Man-O-War Units, Winter Guard Infantry, Manhunters, War Dog, Widowmaker Marksman, Yuri the Axe, Man-O-War Solos Manhunter Solos get +1 FA for each unit included Point cost of Man-O-War Shocktroopers is reduced by 1. T 2 Two or more Man-O-War Units Man-O-War units gain +2 SPD during the first turn of the game. T 3 Four or more solos Solos may be redeployed after both player have deployed, but before the first player's first turn. T 4 Three or more warjacks without ranged weapons Warjacks without ranged weapons gain Advance Deploy Right off the bat we can cut winterguard and Yuri. I hate cumbersome squishy infantry and The Axe is a named character. Also, the widowmaker marksman is interesting but has that funky elite cadre rule. I like her, but again, I’m looking for simple, basic units. I’m also not fond of the war dog, though that’s more because I don’t like spending points defensively. That cuts a fair amount of selections. Moving on to tier II, I need 2 units of MOWs of any variety. I love bombardiers. Who wouldn’t want a unit of buzz saw wielding, cannon shooting, mecha warriors? More than one unit would pose challenges resolving the blasts, but one full unit for 11 points should be fine. That leaves me to choose between shock troopers and the demolition core. I want to like the demolition core, I really do. The thing is Khador has better melee infantry point-for-point. Their armor is nice, but won’t protect them on the long slog. Shock troopers get a discount in Butcher’s tier list anyway. A full unit will provide an iron wall for the bombardiers to advance behind. That’s 19 points. There are several ways to play butcher’s feet. The two big ones are to use it early to clear out a large segment of the opposing forces or to wait until end game and set up the mother of all assassination turns. Option one appeals to me on several levels. Attrition armies play to scenario more than caster kill, which makes the game more competitive and less douchy. There’s nothing wrong with caster kill as a win condition—for some casters it’s the only tactic they can execute; but I would rather stay clear of it is a primary strategy. Option one also plays to butcher’s strength, allowing him to use a mix of ranged heavy hitters to thin out the enemy before dropping the bloody axe of vengeance upon the survivors of his feet. To make that strategy work I’m going to need three more elements—a precise ranged unit to snipe out key enemy assets, a set of jacks that can set up the end game, and some “best defense” units to do double duty as problem solvers and threat projection. The first part of that equation is easy. Widowmakers are elite snipers. They will get out ahead of the MOW block and thin the enemy ranks. They can dish out significant pain even without butcher’s feet—so that’s 4 points down. With three units taken I can select five manhunters. They will do an excellent job of pinch hitting and deterring the enemy—so 10 more points spent there. Looking at the jacks is a bit more difficult. So far I’ve spent 33 points of a total 56 points including butcher’s warjack freebees. Butcher’s tier 4 requirement somewhat limits my options. I’d love to have a spriggan but the grenades count against the ranged weapon limitation for his jacks—and I’m not getting more than three jacks in this list. His league starting roster includes a Kodiak and a decimator. Though I’ll get the decimator for beginning league play, he has a ranged weapon so won’t count for this list. I’ll get 2 of the Kodiaks leaving me 7 points to play with. That means picking between the marauder and the juggernaut. Jug kicks but, but I don’t need something to wreck face, I need something to set up the end game so the marauder gets the slot. Looking at this list I have: • The butcher +6 • Full unit of bombardiers -11 • Full unit of Shock troopers -8 • Widowmakers -4 • 5 manhunters -10 • 2 Kodiaks -16 • 1 marauder -7 =56 points. The problem with this list is that five manhunters aren’t really friendly. Actually that’s a really dickish thing to do to an unsuspecting opponent. I have four widowmakers so I’ll cut one manhunter for symmetry’s sake. Four is still intimidating, but not as excessive. So what to do with those 2 points. The man-o-war kovnick would be nice, but he costs 3 points. I could cut one of the Kodiaks down to a second marauder freeing up enough to buy him, but do I really want to do that? Yes, yes I do. That’s actually a better distribution of board control and gives me a strong solo in the back line to counter enemy solos; plus, the kovnick can provide a decent command stat for the man-o-wars—god knows the butcher won’t be much help in that department. So the new list looks like: • The butcher +6 • Full unit of bombardiers -11 • Full unit of Shock troopers -8 • 1 Man-o-war Kovnick -3 • Widowmakers -4 • 4 manhunters -8 • 1 Kodiak -8 • 2 marauders -14 =56 points. This list has a couple great features. It’s small—meaning my turns should go relatively quickly after I play a few games. There is an excellent mix of shoot/assault, tuff/fast, and devastation/finesse. In most games the bombardiers set up behind the shield walled shock troopers—using their arcing fire to hit targets of opportunity. They can get stuck in if they need to, but their primary job is to thin the enemy down, especially on butcher’s feet turn. The shock troopers defend butcher and the bombardiers while dismantling anything that gets in their nine inch threat range. The Kovnick runs heard on the MOW block—ensuring no flankage happens. He’s slow, but is a one man wrecking crew if anyone gets in his charge distance. The widowmakers do what they do best—deploying ahead of the MOW block sniping key enemy models and selectively pinging jacks where needed. Their job is to find a nice piece of concealment and sit there distracting the enemy. The manhunters hit targets of opportunity in the early game—finishing off wounded jacks and clearing out roadblocks. These two units act in much the same way. They are a forward projection of force designed to weaken the enemy as butcher’s armored fist comes in to finish them off. Finally the jacks set up the endgame. The marauder, properly placed, is an outstandingly efficient jack. With fury on it, it delivers a massive one shot directed slam to whatever needs clearing/killing. Most targets short of a colossal will be heavily damaged, knocked down, and moved from their previous placement—great targets for the rest of the army. The Kodiak can also knock targets down with his combo strike but is best left to shatter enemy heavies with boosted fist attacks backed by a final two fisted throw. His vent steam ability can block LOS or clear blocks of squishy bodies. The army is small and vulnerable to massed weaponmaster infantry, but then what isn’t. It needs to drive the tempo of the conflict since it is a poor reactive force. The widowmakers and manhunters are essentially expendable. Their job is to distract and harass. As long as they accomplish that goal for three turns or so they’ll have earned their points back. My two biggest concerns are a hard-hitting armored fist like cavalry and denial casters. The first can dismantle my jacks and man-o-wars while avoiding my skirmishers. The second can keep me from engaging. I have enough ranged selections that I can make a fight of it, but those threats will prove difficult. So that’s it. I’ve ordered the jacks and caster assembled and painted from blue table painting. I worked with them in the past with mixed results. I’d like to use someone local, but this is going to be a big project. Frankly, I’d rather have someone like Deathquaker, provided she’s willing, handle the infantry. But I really want the jacks and caster yesterday. So this is my final shot at working with BTP. I’ve been very clear in my instructions. Excerpted: “Assembly Instructions I am 100% blind. This means that my hand comes down on top or from the side with some force as I’m moving and locating models on the board. It is very important that models are assembled as strongly and in as compact a manner as possible…i.e., weapons held into the body, no funky one point of contact mountings, no delicate flourishes on the base, pinning…etc. If it’s a question of a dynamic pose or conversion VS making the model bombproof, go with bombproof. I cannot stress this enough, the models need to be firmly and strongly assembled, especially at joints, the point where the model is mounted on the base, and any point of extension. This is the biggest factor in my satisfaction with this project. Conversion Budget: $25 Conversion Guidelines Nothing fancy, these guys stomp on things and break them. Battle debris, slain foes on the bases, whatever won’t compromise the model’s durability and adds a little flavor.” And “Painting Instructions General I am looking for a dark metallic paint scheme indicative of ruthless oncoming destruction. When people look at this battle group I want them to see the offensive front line coming at them with uniform metallic colors and the dull sheen of cold tooled steel fresh off the assembly line. I am less interested in battle damage and powder stains than I am in the overall perception of the clean glossy dark crimson and oiled metal look of a finely made but brutal construct. Generally, Cygnar and the retribution get painted up as the new car/polished technology factions. I’m looking to buck that trend with this battle group, proving that even a SUV can be visually appealing in an understated lethal way if given a clean paint job and a nice finish. Think transformers the movie if that helps. These guys aren’t high-Tec; they are pure contained force in a simple brutal package. Specific As the general color, I would like a black base with a dark crimson metallic marbling on top, to create a red almost holographic perception of depth over the black—such as you might find in a very dark red-black auto paint—or as close as the restrictions of the paint level and materials will allow. I do not want anything even minutely approaching pink, very dark-red is the name of the game. The jack weapons, especially the ram pistons, open fists, and buzz saw should be the color of dark oiled steel. Butcher should have some gold highlights to mark him as a warcaster; otherwise I’ll leave it to your imagination as long as it keeps with the dark and deadly theme. I’d rather him be under ornamented than covered in scroll work and such. He’s a no frills kind of guy. I’d like the entire army covered in a thick coat of the clear gloss finish, both to protect the finish and to add to the sheen of the metal. These are going to get banged around some; I want the paint to be able to bounce back a bit.” If they can follow directions, I’ll have some more business for them. If not, that’ll be the end of our association. The only reason I’m going through this process with BTP is that they’ve supposedly got a few of their “master painters and assemblers” working on the side for a “special opps” program. Supposedly these are a few elite peeps ready for quick turnaround with a high level of quality. We’ll see. It apparently takes six days for them to order two jacks. I think rather this is them running their yearly Valhalla gaming extravaganza. Whatever…I really only care about the finished product. If there’s a little BS thrown in, well some people are like that. As long as it comes back money well spent I can live with the flim-flam. Honestly, I need a good assembler and painter who isn’t a close friend. Hopefully these guys will get this right.

The making of an action hero pt28

Entry #27. I’m losing my patience with nutrition articles. I get that the media focuses coverage on trendy issues. I get that people want to know how to lose weight, increase their metabolism, improve their energy, sleep better, eat more healthily, and generally find that one combination of elements that will fix all their problems. But, I read this article yesterday and about lost it: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2013/08/27/5-ways-your-healthy-diet-is-making-tired/?intcmp=features I’ve been reading “expert” suggestions as to what foods to eat, when to eat them, how to prepare them, and which foods to avoid for many years. Up until recently all the advice could be distilled down to a few simple truisms: • Lean meat, especially poultry, is better than red meat. • Where possible one should avoid processed foods, especially those like sausage and bacon which are filled with preservatives and other undesirable elements. • Dairy, especially cheese and whole milk, is important but only in moderation. • Eggs in small quantities are ok, but should be strictly rationed. • Fruit juices are good, because they contain a good selection of vitamins and minerals. • As a general rule, carbs are bad. • A variety of fruits and vegetables should be part of any diet Now I come across this article recommending red meat. Other recent articles have suggested that an egg a day is a good thing. Certain kinds of carbs are apparently not only desirable, but essential. Two articles suggested that people drink chocolate milk after exercising to restore fluids, nutrients, and carbs. Chocolate milk? Red meat? I could have been eating steak all these months and nobody told me??? You can find thousands of these little gems with a simple use of Google-fu. The issue I find in almost every one is that the author has a bias toward something, be it organics, some sort of product, vegetarianism, or some such limiter to their viewpoint. This kind of bias further distorts the provided information when it is focused on solving a specific problem, lack of energy, weight loss, apatite suppressant...etc. Context is critical in these situations because believe me when I say that just because red meat helps with iron deficiency doesn’t mean it should make up 50% of your daily intake. The brunette likes to say that if she waits long enough someone will discover that carbs are the secret to the universe. It seems, according to this article, that she might be right. . As I said, context is everything. I am on plan for the power week. I didn’t stretch Monday evening, but have hit every other goal. Tuesday’s weigh in was 289.6 pounds and this morning came in at 288 even. Tomorrow’s fasting before the doctor’s visit is the part I’m not looking forward too. I’ll probably use the larger container for my shake and make sure to pack it with spinach, oatmeal, blueberries, banana, and almond milk. That shake is going to have to last me from 6am Thursday through 9am Friday…so it’s going to be as nutritionally dense as I can make it. Intake for today: Breakfast=health shake with stuff in it. Work meal=a container of tuna salad, Greek yogurt, and an apple. Dinner=The brunette’s left over mac and cheese and a small bowl of basmati rice, asparagus, turkey meatballs, onion, garlic cloves, bell pepper, and cilantro in an Indian red sauce. I do enjoy crossing ethnic boundaries when making food.