The making of an action hero pt5

Entry #4 How do you motivate yourself? Deciding to live well is easy. Ask me if I want to eat healthily, exercise, lose weight, and live better and the answer will be a resounding yes. Ask me if I want a bacon cheeseburger and the answer is often as not also yes. I love food. I love cooking, I love eating, and I love the full sensory sweet of a beautifully prepared meal complete with ambiance, presentation, and company. So yeh, deciding to eat better is easy. Eating better, not so much. It’s funny the things that stick with you. I remember a Flintstones episode where Fred was compelled to lose weight. He went to a support group to help fight his appetite. Their solution was to steal his food right from under his nose any time he was in public. At the end of the story, after Fred hits his goal, he goes out and orders a huge meal. The episode ends with Fred howling with rage as one of his supporters steals his victory dinner. Queue laugh track and fade to black. I don’t want to live that way. In this cartoon example, Fred has no strength of will. He relies on other people to enforce his diet. As the end of the story shows, the only way he can keep the weight off is by continuing to rely on others. Yesterday the Brunette and I finished rereading a young adult fantasy book called The Wretched of Muirwood. The magic of that world is based on surrendering to the power of the universal unconscious at one hand but also derives purpose and direction from the desires of strong willed individuals. Doubt and worry weaken a man while confidence and courage can literally change the course of history—causing the flows of magic to reshape events. I like that. One of the characters says at one point that “It begins with a thought.” He means that one’s future, the course events will take, is defined by a distinct act of mental resolution. That’s what I need to do. William Wallace dies well because he refuses to be broken, to give in, and to be less than entirely committed to his cause. I must do the same. I have to use language that supports that mindset. In fact, it should be “I will use language that supports that mindset.” There is no need, have to, must, should, try…etc. Those are conditional statements. I—will—be successful. Another book I read recently called the red circle, discusses how perspective snipers are taught to think out how their successful shots will be taken in advance. They mentally model every move, every reaction, and every contingency so that when the moment comes success is a foregone conclusion. I do this already for work and gaming. I’m going to find the specific training materials referenced in the book and formally implement them. If it starts with a thought, then I’m going to make sure it ends successfully with that thought as well. I’m not a fan of self-help books, feel-good literature, and self-worth programs. The ones I’ve seen essentially have the subject telling themselves “I’m a good person” over and over again. I suppose if you say it enough you’ll believe it…until something happens that challenges that belief. You can con/rationalize your mind into accepting anything short term. My experience has been that long term those comforting fictional barriers come crashing down—further damaging confidence and self-image in the process. You shouldn’t have to convince your mind that eating well, exercising, and making good choices are desirable. Unfortunately your appetite and activity levels are based on more than logic. Every day presents hundreds of chances for you to master yourself. It makes sense to me that by understanding why I make certain choices, mentally preparing to make better decisions, and orchestrating events in the most favorable manner possible that I’m setting myself up for success. That is self-help to me. Not deceiving your mind into believing something your heart and hunger oppose, but rebuilding your preferences and behaviors from the ground up. Having a strong support network helps a lot. I know my family and friends—especially now that I’ve told them I’m serious will work with me. At some point though it comes down to me. I’m going to have to walk into an eatery and decide what I “want.” I won’t always be in a good mood. I won’t always have the chance to strategize my order in advance. At that point having a friend ask me if I really want that burger isn’t going to help. I’m going to give myself the means now so that when the opportunity comes I will have the motive to make the best choice. This is good, hopped up on self-confidence. I’m going to need that. This morning I faced the talking demon for the first time. Michael Night gets a talking car with lasers and super speed. I get a talking scale with a measuring tape. I guess I’ll have to work my way up the audio-accessory ladder. The number was 313.28. That’s not bad. I think the last time I saw my doctor I hadn’t eaten in a day in a half and I came in at 309 or so. That probably means I’m losing weight already. We’ll know soon as I have to go back in July for my 2013 physical. There’s another benefit of going through this process, I don’t have to dread the doctor’s scales twice a year. I’ll know damn well what that number is and I can own it. I’ve started designing the lair. I’m going to need a full sized desk at some point. The room isn’t optimally set up right now. It used to be that the brunette and I shared the entire apartment. We’ve since come to claim certain territories. The idea is to set up the room so that it makes better use of the available space. I need a fully functioning hero-cave, a place where I can relax and tune out the world for a bit. Food was good quality today. Dinner was pasta with meatballs. Dessert was a fruit smoothie made of half fruit and half no fat frozen yogurt. I left yesterday’s crackers open over night, rendering them stale. I trashed them, mainly because if I left them there I was going to eat the rest of the bag stale or not. I will drink a glass of water before each meal and one after to fill the gap. My portions were fine today; I will simply be smarter about the frequency to moderate the urge to graze. Intake: Breakfast=A small bowl of crock-pot oatmeal with blueberries, a banana, and a glass of half water and half cranberry juice. Work meal=a ham and Swiss wrap, an apple, a snack sized portion of nuts and crasins, and a hand full of unsalted almonds. Dinner started with a banana to curb the urge to snack, 2 small bowls of pasta and meatballs, and a fruit smoothie for dessert. Today represented the last of our meatballs and a third of our frozen yogurt vanishing. I’ll have left over pasta salad for the next few days while others finish off less healthy leftovers.

The making of an action hero pt4

Entry #3 I’ve always been a big guy. When I was younger it was due to over-developed muscles. Now I still have a lot of the strength plus a bit of extra padding. Weightlifting, strength training, whatever you want to call it was fun when I had inordinate amounts of free time. There are as many power building philosophies as there are diet plans—with just as many proponents. In the beginning I lumped them all together. They were designed to make you stronger. Some specialized in competitive events, some focused on overall power, but back then they all fell into the same category more or less. Now I know better. Each plan has a different purpose, a different style, a different target user, and different risks. People talk about the gym the same way they talk about the bar or the club. Sure, you go there to exercise. But it’s also a place to show off, to meet, and exchange phone numbers. It has become an iconic social networking location for the best and beautiful. I don’t want that. For one thing, just walking in the door would lower my self-esteem by a healthy margin. Stumbling through exercises I used to do as a warm up—much less using the showers with everyone watching would do more damage than good. The idea here is to make me feel better about myself, to improve, to build the mental and physical tools to live a better life. Guilt and self loathing do not figure into that plan. There’s also the question of time. Currently I get up at 5:30 in the morning so I can make it to work by 8am. I’m home by 5ish. I need to eat dinner, take care of various tasks, and get to bed at a decent hour. An hour long session at the gym plus an hour of travel time would mean that I wasn’t getting home till 7 at the earliest. It isn’t that I can’t do it. It isn’t that I can’t afford the time. It comes down to choosing between living my life and going to the gym. Four days a week would mean that I’d have to cut out time with the brunette, friends, family, and very necessary personal down time. I’ve tried similar strategies before—short term sacrifices for supposed future gain and they have always failed. Another factor is that I don’t want to build bulk per say. I was surrounded by football players, wrestlers, and other flavors of athlete in college. While their regimens were aimed at improving their performance, their individual focus in the weight room was all about “how much?” The goal for them was to move the most amount of weight possible. I fell into the same competitive mindset. I wanted to put bigger and bigger numbers up. Now I’m paying for those years of steel bars bending over my shoulders. My back and knees, while not permanently damaged, won’t ever have the youthful flexibility and resilience I took for granted back then. The lesson I took from those years is that there’s a difference between power and strength. Power is the ability to move really big weights. Strength is the ability to employ great power in the real world—functional muscle if you will. I want strength not power. At some point I’d like to get back into free weights, but for now it’s a lesser priority. I really would rather start with something simple I can do at home that works on usable fitness, not bulk muscle. So I came up with a list of requirements I need for an effective workout. Keep in mind that these are based on what will work for me mentally and physically. Others will likely have different needs. • I need to be able to complete the course of training in 30-60 minutes. • The exercises must focus on a standing position. • The program and equipment must be something I can handle in my living room without complex machines. • The program should focus on practical strength and movement. • The plan needs a twist, something that will keep me going at 5am. Enter the steel mace workout. I first heard of it while reading an article on the art of manliness at: http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/04/23/train-like-an-ancient-hindu-warrior-the-steel-mace-workout/ It fits all my requirements. In particular, I can do it without having to crunch over (a difficult task with my gut as big as it is right now.) Supposedly you can do the same workout with a sledgehammer. I have a ten pound sledge so may try out the basics first before going all in on a mace. Today I had some wins and some losses. I ate well through the afternoon, got to the store and exercised restraint, got home and made some pasta salad. I also opened up a box of crackers by accident (thought it was a box of pasta) and snaked a few more handfuls than I should have.) The scale came in today so tomorrow we start the morning confessional. If today has taught me anything it is that victory will only come with conviction. I’ll write up something about motivations later but it’s time to get some sleep. Intake for today: Breakfast=a small bowl of fiber1 with raspberries, a glass of cranberry juice, and a banana. Work meal=a ham and Swiss wrap, a container of Greek yogurt, an apple, and some unsalted almonds spread over 8 hours. Dinner=a moderate bowl of pasta salad (mostly veggies), a glass of water, and snacking on crackers and the leavings from making turkey and cheese sandwiches for the brunette. I need to drink more liquids before and after meals to curb the need to snack.

The making of an action hero, pt3

Entry #2 Ow, Ow, Ow. One of the hardest parts of being over weight is that your body starts failing you at the most inconvenient moments. Fifteen years ago “failing” meant I got tired after running for five miles instead of ten. Now it means that a poorly placed step sprains a load baring joint. I am not going to be able to stage an epic hand-to-hand battle on a catwalk over a nuclear reactor if I have trouble walking the half mile to my bus stop. In a way, this pain is a great motivator. Every time I have to take a hobbling step I am physically reminded that I need to stick with the plan or things will get worse. Yesterday the brunette and one of our friends did the marketing. We got more good food and less bad food, which is good. The fridge is full of fresh produce and lean protein. The counter sports a bunch of low-fat trail mixes, unsalted nuts, and bananas. The challenge we face is that we still have a stock of the food that’s less than ideal. The immediate urge is to go on a gorging frenzy and consume all of it with no guilt. After all, it all has to go right? In keeping with the slow change philosophy I’ve adopted, I’ll keep using the items until they’re gone, we simply won’t buy any more. I could gorge my way through the pantry, but I won’t. There’s a scale coming in the mail soon. Every extra pound I put on now will be another one I have to report with my first public weight entry. Writing about these experiences helps me work through the mental process of adjusting my outlook. It’s great if other people have comments and input. I learn a lot from their tips. Writing forces me to order and prioritize. It forces me to validate and personally justify my decisions. I’m not one of those people who can do something just “because.” I have to come to peace with my choices. I have to vet them through a process of testing and questioning. That’s one of the reasons I used to give up on eating well. After a while I realized that most of the choices I was making couldn’t be justified. It became too much work to do the right thing, let alone think through it. So I fell back in to comfortable habits. I’ve been researching nutrition information for some of our local eateries. It seems that eating out is not such a good plan. I began the process with the high-minded goal of finding better options for the times we dine out. It’s impossible to get fries for under 400 calories, a burger worth the name for less than 600, or anything with bacon and cheese for under 500 calories. That’s not really surprising. What almost scared me out of my combat boots was how high standard menu options went. For example, the red robin blue ribbon burger, fries, shared appetizer, and drink ran to at least 1500 calories. Taking steamed broccoli over fries cut 320 calories off, but still, ouch. Many of the salads I looked at were 600, 800, or 1,000 calories. Calorie counting by itself is pointless. You can eat a low total calorie meal that’s terrible the same way you can eat a high count meal that’s full of great nutrition. That said, ouch. In most places the best options were grilled chicken sandwiches or veggie burgers of some variety. Any salad with bacon, cheese, creamy dressing, or any other meat than grilled chicken automatically started at 500 calories or more. One of my friends has a “thing” about how Americans must always have three things, giant portions, Bacon, and cheese. After today I believe it. I wrote about the guilt factor in my eating habits before. This is exactly the kind of situation I was referring to. If we go out for a meal and I walk through the doors I’m faced with two terrible choices. I can eat what I want and start the guilt cycle or I can restrain myself and be miserable. Both of those choices leave me eating more because guilty or unhappy are the same thing where emotional eating is concerned. So, not gonna do that. I’ll simply pick the least bad option I can live with and enjoy the chance to socialize. I’ll try not to be placed in that situation in the first place. But it’s going to happen eventually. Better to sort out the particulars now. Mutter…I guess that means steak and a martini (shaken not stirred) are off the table. Today I brought my normal ham and Swiss wrap, an apple, a container of unsalted almonds, and a 20oz water bottle of herbal tea to work. I don’t use the word “lunch” any more as I try not to have “lunch” in the traditional sense. It doesn’t fit my work schedule and it’s not very healthy. Traditional lunch is a mid-day meal that varies from a light snack to a gastro-fest of epic scope. It’s predicated on the idea that people eat three meals a day and spend the rest of their waking hours laboring in the fields. I sit at a desk all day typing on a computer. I don’t have even remotely similar caloric requirements to your average blue collar worker, much less a hard-laboring farmer. If I starve myself between breakfast and lunch, I’ll consume whatever I brought from home in an epic moment of gobbling that would make cookie monster proud. Then I’ll be tired and still hungry because six hours of consuming nothing but water will have convinced my body that it needs to top off all the reserves even though I haven’t done anything but sit in a desk chair. Instead, I have my first mini-meal around 9-9:30. I have a snack an hour or so later, and finish with a second mini-meal around 11-11:30. There are lots of components to eating well. Part of that has been learning to time quantity and frequency such that I’m never stuffed but a little hungry all day. I start off work with a 20 oz water bottle that has a bag of dandelion tea and two more bags of whatever random cold brew/herbal mix I grab from the discard pile. Yes, we have a discard tea bag collection. The brunette loves buying teas. People love buying teas for us. We don’t always heart the results. Everything that doesn’t get a thumbs up from one of us goes in the grab bag. Each morning I grab my dandelion tea, two other random bags, and fill the water bottle up to start the cold brew as I head to work. I leave the bags in the bottle and refill it every hour or two. Each day has a different flavor. By the end of work I’ve drunk 80-100 ounces of mixed tea and water. The water helps partially stave off the hunger, cleanses the system, and takes care of the urge to “drink something.” Things to do: 1. Research the steel mace workout, develop a plan to use it, and get the required equipment. 2. As soon as the scale gets here, work out a system of rewards based on meaningful milestones relative to the amount of weight I need to lose. 3. Start work on the “lair.” 4. Bag up the trail mix and almonds in smaller lunch sized portions so I can’t cheat and eat the entire thing. Today’s Intake: Breakfast=1 bowl of fiber 1, 1 glass of herbal tea, and one banana. Lunch=1 apple, 1 ham and Swiss wrap, and a few handfuls of unsalted almonds spread over 4 hours. Dinner=a few handfuls of crackers, a bowl of chicken and rice, and a couple slices of apples and strawberries.

The making of an action hero pt2

Entry #1 Ever since I foiled the plans of the dark lotus ninja clan I’ve been in hiding. That hot little brunette and I have been pretending to live in the mundane world somewhere, well secret. It’s been difficult, especially after that accident in the chemical plant took half my sight. We’ve made out OK so far. It’s kind of nice not to have to run into automatic weapons fire every other day. The problem is I can’t keep living like this. Dr. Methuselah just threatened to end the universe in four years on net flicks. The ninjas are still out there, I just know it. The government can’t even execute a search warrant in secret. So it’s up to me and the brunette to save the world…except that I’m way out of shape for the hero business. Somewhere between defusing that unobtanium bomb and today I put on 140 pounds. It’s all going to have to come off. I figure, without the Joe’s training center to work with, I’m going to have to do it the old fashioned way. So, I’ve taken a few steps in that direction. First I went through Amazon and ordered a talking scale. This whole not seeing thing is a real pain. It should arrive in a few days, at which point the real challenge begins. I’m honestly not looking forward to the “moment of truth” every morning. I hated the scale back when I wrestled. I doubt that’s going to change much until I start losing weight. Still, it has to be done. I went through a list of all the fast food and quick stop places we go for meals when we’re in a hurry. I reviewed the menus, nutrition, serving sizes, and came up with a priority list of locations and default orders. I hate fast food now. Intellectually I knew that what I was eating was bad. Finding out that your standard order from a certain drive through is over 1300 calories tends to put the word “bad” in a new light. It’s good that we don’t go cheap and fast nearly as much as we used to. Even so, there are going to be those times when it’s going to happen. I want to be able to make a suggestion when someone asks and have an order ready when we get there. This way I can’t wimp out by saying I didn’t know how bad the menu selection was. I’ve picked and ranked the following selections based on a variety of criteria. • They have to be under 500 calories. • They have to constitute a meal that I will actually want to eat. • They have to be somewhat portable. • They have to be somewhat healthy or at least less unhealthy than other potential selections. Location Choice Rank Cal Chick-Fil-A Market Salad 1 180 Chipotle Chipotle salad with barbacoa, black beans, and fresh tomato salsa 2 320 Subway 6-inch Veggie Delight All veggies, no cheese, light dressing 3 400 Wendy's Half Apple Pecan Chicken Salad, 4 340 McDonald's Mcwrap grilled sweet chili chicken and apple slices 5 375 Burger King BK VEGGIE Burger 6 450 Panera Pick 2, chicken seizer salad and garden veggie soup with apple side. 7 400 Taco Bell Fresco Burrito Supreme® – Chicken and 1 Fresco Chicken Soft Taco 8 490 Next, I’m going to go through all our local sit-down places and build default orders. To some this probably looks like preparing for failure. In reality, I’m shining the light of truth on my eating habits. After reading through eight fast food menus, I’m not really interested in choking down 60% of my recommended calorie total in one meal. Intake for 6/10/13: • Breakfast was a small bowl of Fiber 1 and a glass of herbal tea. • Lunch was an apple, ham Swiss and mustard wrap, and a piece of string cheese. • Dinner was home made Mexican chicken and rice leftovers. • Drank 90oz of tea/water. It’s a small start, but I feel like it’s a beginning. Tonight I’m going to cut up apples so we can make our own oatmeal in the crock-pot. More later.

The making of an action hero.

            I’ve always wanted to be an action hero—stylishly dressed, well armed, innovative, capable…etc.  One finds that delivering the clever line can be learned.  Enough research and the particulars of good food and drink may be acquired.  I’ve read enough books, seen enough movies, played in enough games, that figuring out what the bad guys are up too comes naturally.  I have a boring desk job which simply begs for adverse conditions to bring out my hitherto unseen heroic side.

            Only one obstacle stands between me and Bond-hood, about 140 pounds.  By now I’ve heard it all, diets, surgery, drugs, you name it.  There was a time in college where I was working out 4+ days per week.  I was doing sets of ten on the bench at 185 pounds.  I squatted super sets at 800 pounds.  I ran the gym’s treadmills till they quit, literally.  For the record, you don’t go from that level of fitness to my current plumpitude over night.  It is the death of a thousand value meals.  It is the product of a young person moving from an active round-the-clock lifestyle to one where less time and motivation are available for things like exercise and a good night’s sleep.  After a year I’d put on a few pounds.  After a few more years I had to buy new clothes, but I had to do that for work anyway so no big deal.  After 13 years I’m almost twice the man I used to be, and not in a good way.  I know how nutrition and fitness work.  I let things get out of hand and one day I was so far behind the eight ball it was easier to stay where I was than make the painful choices it would take to get back on top of the mountain.

            So what to do?  I want to go out into the world and do things.  I want to play with our son’s kid as he gets older.  I want to live an active lifestyle again.  Past experience has shown that while I can change in the short term, bad habits come back.  So some fad diet or miracle supplement isn’t going to do it.  I have had consistent success in weeding out bad behaviors in small steps.  We don’t order out at all anymore.  I rarely get lunch from the cafe.  I’ve cut my alcoholic intake significantly.  I’ve cut caffeine down to a manageable level.  My blood pressure is great and I’ve lost 20 pounds.  So I’m on the right track.  What I need to do is find fun and productive ways to expand on that start.

            When you’re five foot six and 300 pounds, a trip to the local gym isn’t as much of an option as you might think.  Workout clothes don’t stay where they should.  Any high impact activity is out because of the danger to your knees and ankles as well as the fact that most machines aren’t rated for your bulk.  So to beet that 140 pound monster I’m going to have to find a way to start working out at home.  I’m going to have to find a way to keep motivated.  Any consistent activity will do, but it has to be active and frequent.  If this were a movie, I’d be placed with a dojo, retired boxer, or an eccentric but brilliant Special Forces captain to train off the pounds.  Lacking that I’m going to have to find other ways to motivate myself.

            I need something fun.  I need something that will keep me interested after the novelty has worn off.  As the title of this post indicates, I’m going to try something different from south beach or Atkins.  The concept I’m working with is a combination of daily themed exercise, specialty projects, and reward levels based on achieving certain goals.  I’m going to view everything through the lens of a pulp action hero and make the exercise and diet part of a larger project.  Some of the ideas I’m working on are:

1.       Revising Chief wife’s and my diets to something a little more primal—cutting out some dairy, pasta, rice, and processed foods.  I’ll try and replace those items with fresh fair, things Bond might consume on his off days.  I’m under no illusion that we’re going to cut out all cheese, but going from 5 Greek yogurts a week to 2 seems doable.

2.       Reading through the health information for the menu items where we tend to eat out so I can pre-select healthier options.  I’ll start that off by intentionally looking at salads and wraps that don’t come in value meals.  We don’t order out as much as in the past, but it’s better to be prepared if and when.  Having just done this with Chick-fil-a, I can say that simply reading the calorie count on my normal selections is a great motivator in and of itself.

3.       Setting myself a firm bedtime that will allow me to get a good night’s sleep.  My bus comes at the same time every day.  If I get to bed earlier I’ll have less free time, but I’ll be better rested and more able to start my day off right.

4.       Find a themed exercise program that I can do in the morning for 30 minutes without the need for complex equipment.  I’m looking at the Indian steel mace workout.  It’s essentially isometrics using a heavy weighted mace for resistance.   Not perfect, but it’s fat-boy friendly and is enough like warrior training that it should keep me involved at 5 in the morning after the novelty wears off.

5.       I will get a scale to track progress.  To say I’m not looking forward to this is an understatement.  It has to be done though.  If John Conner can face down the terminators, I can face the talking demon in the morning.

6.       I will cut my alcoholic intake further.  Small social drinking is fine.  I will limit myself to drinking at special occasions, eating out, and group get-togethers.  I’m a social drinker anyway, this just means I’ll only be buying for specific events.

7.       I will ask friends and family to walk with me at home and elsewhere.  Patrolling and recon are important as is getting outside and doing things.  Establishing mentally that walking is fun will help later when I lose enough weight to use public exercise facilities.

8.       I will give regular progress updates.  I will hold myself accountable by ensuring that everyone knows what I am trying to do and why.  Knowing that everyone is watching will keep me involved even when I want to quit.

9.       I will set myself goals that are reasonable and actionable.  Rockie had to become a champ-een.  I will have to look at something a little more mundane.  For starters, I don’t have a montage to compress the time; so we’re probably looking at four years to hit the end result.

10.   I will think, write, and speak in terms that presuppose my success.  I will make good habits part of my daily routine.

That’s a nice list of generalities.  If I’m going to work up to Jack Bower’s level I need a concrete objective.  Losing 140 pounds sounds nice, except that it’s arbitrary.  Maybe in the end I’ll need to lose more weight than that.  Maybe I’ll build enough muscle that 180 pounds will leave me ready to chase the lost arc.  Let’s say rather that the goal is to get back into fighting condition.  Fighting condition is defined as:

1.       I can bench-press my own weight in sets of ten.

2.       I can run, bike, or engage in dedicated aerobic exercise for at least one hour at a meaningful rate.

3.       I can wear standard sized clothes again.

4.       I can put on a swim suit without being embarrassed.

5.       I’m proud of my physical condition.

Let’s start by explaining why previous attempts have failed.  Any given day I have a finite amount of cope and drive.  When they’re gone, they’re gone and the little things are going to slip.  Friends and family remember my high school and college days with fondness.  They remember a healthy athlete who prized fitness.  I was thinner, stronger, faster then.  What most of them don’t remember is that the reason I was in such good shape was a combination of mandatory exercise in high school and slacking off in college.  In high school I had weightlifting as a class every day.  I wrestled two thirds of the school year.  I went to wrestling camps in the summer.  In college exercise was one of the ways I slacked off from studying.  I had very poor physical discipline because life had been structured in such a way as to make fitness a default setting for me.  Yes, I was in shape, but it wasn’t because I was in control per say, it was because being fit was either something I was compelled to by circumstance or a way of avoiding less interesting priorities.

            After I graduated college I had other issues, other priorities, and other interests.  It wasn’t that fitness ceased to be important, it came down to the fact that learning how to live on my own, deal with corporate America, handle serious romance for the first time, and find out who I was ate up all the will and cope I had.  After a long day at work, it was just easier to order dinner than it was to make something for myself.  I was more interested in socializing and gaming than I was in blocking out major periods of time for working out.

            Physically I might have overcome those challenges.  However mentally I was all messed up.  I had coasted through high school.  College wasn’t much better.  I had a lot of potential.  Unfortunately K-12 had taught me that hard work was relative.  I un-learned a lot of those bad habits but not enough.  Worse for me was the expectation, set from an early age, that I was someone special, above the ordinary.  College constantly pushed the idea that freshly minted graduates had but to walk through the doors of their next employer and star power would be theirs for the taking.  I had a lot to offer the open market, but not nearly as much as I thought I did.  I didn’t know the first thing about networking, office politics, or self promotion.  I was told by my employer and wrongly believed that just doing my job well would get me promoted…because I was special and above the rest.  Five years later I was professionally experienced, paid well, and unhappy with my job.

            In my personal life I made new friends, started dating a wonderful woman, got a handle on my priorities, and learned how to live in the real world.  I was fatter, older, and not as naive.  I began rebuilding my career bit by slow painful bit.

            While all that was going on eating was a safety blanket.  Food and drink were controllable, happy-making, and readily available.  Call it emotional eating if you want.  Food and drink were the only constants that stuck with me from college through present day.  When I was eating and drinking I was with friends having a good time.  Family gatherings were based around meals.  Friends went out for food together.  We would order delivery and mix drinks before gaming.  I knew I was in a downward spiral, but I didn’t want to stop.  Food represented all the good associations I had with life.

            If you’ve never dealt with an addiction, it’s difficult to explain the part guilt plays in motivation.  You start the day with the best of intentions.  Little things begin eating away at your resolve.   By the end of the day you’ve lost it.  Guilt over your failings doesn’t help.  It should be negative reinforcement.  It should keep you from doing the bad thing.  In reality guilt makes it much more likely that you will give in to temptation.  Several years ago a family friend, seeing my greatly expanded girth, advised me in a carrying voice in front of other friends and family that all I had to do was stop swallowing.  She then proceeded to tell my wife that she should help me in that endeavor.  Believe me when I say that public humiliation, guilt over disappointing people you care about, and personal hatred for your own weakness are not good tools to encourage positive change.  Recently a family member told me in complete seriousness that some day they would get their boy back.  In the context of that conversation, they were saying that their boy, the thinner me, was how they remembered me.  They rejected the adult, the mature man who had built a life on his own, married, built a career, supported himself, and found love and friendship because he was fat.  That’s the kind of damage that well intentioned criticism can reap.  I love these people deeply.  Intellectually I know that they are trying to help.  But there’s a weak part of me that says that all the good I’ve done, all the happiness I’ve found, all the personal identity I’ve accepted is meaningless in the face of my ugly overweight body.  In the throws of guilt and self-hatred eating well becomes the lowest priority.

            I own that behavior.  Others may not have helped, but ultimately it’s my decision every time I go back for a second helping or super size a meal or go on a carb binge.  It’s a choice every time.  Deciding to lose weight once is easy.  Deciding it hundreds of times a day for four years is a huge challenge.  The difference between then and now is that I am truly a different person.  My lovely wife and I have mastered our finances.  My professional life is under control and heading in good directions.  I have great friends.  I have constructive hobbies that support a positive self image.  There are people in my life now who will help me and hold me accountable.  Most of all though, I want to do better.  I can make the choices, build the framework, and live the life that will lose the pounds.  I couldn’t before, but I can now.

            So what to do?  And what does all of this have to do with becoming an action hero?  Three things.  First, I’m going to make those hundreds of decisions easier by putting them in the context of a hero training up.  Yes, it’s fiction, it’s not real.  But it’s a narrative that will help me positively view the experience.  It will make them less onerous.  Diets don’t work for me.  I need to fundamentally change the way I live.  I need to make sustainable choices.  I need to start seeing myself as that guy.  As noted above, I’m going to put a humorous filter on the process.

            Second, I’m going to make the eating, exercise, and living better parts of a larger project.  I’m going to redecorate my office/work area as a personal lair.  I’ll build a toy armory for my friends’ kids…and me of course.  I’ll put up new posters and trophies on the wall.  I’ll write blog entries from the perspective of the hero training up.  I’ll get friends and family involved in the process.  Losing weight is boring.  Playing with kids/sidekicks is fun.  I’ll apply this logic to the entire process.

            Third, I will set my self reward levels for achieving and sustaining results.  Maybe that’s a new belt.  Maybe that’s a new holster.  Maybe it’s a new piece of style to fit the action hero persona.  What ever the case, I’ll publicly set myself goals and rewards.

            I know this isn’t going to be easy.  Even so, for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have a chance.  So it’s time to get into character.  It’s time to assemble the components.  It’s time to buy the scale, build the plan, and take the first step.

Sharing

I like trying new things. Food, drink, games, anything that adds a breath of unexpected novelty to life is something to be treasured. The only thing better than trying something new is introducing others to that experience. The best parts of life should be shared. At our last friends gathering I had the pleasure of trying ascension, a board game that splits the difference between dominion and magic. I’ve heard mixed reviews where ascension is concerned. Some love it while others find its brand of Twinkie strategy annoying. I most definitely fall into the former category. Ascension keeps dominion’s deck recycling mechanic while extending the play out long enough that slower strategies become viable. Players can buy new cards or attack monsters for loot. There are some staple cards that may be bought or attacked. These cards are supplemented by 6 randomly drawn objectives which vary in value and acquisition requirements. When one of the 6 is removed, a random replacement is drawn. The game ends when all the honor tokens are taken. The winner is the person with the highest combined total of honor tokens and honor valued cards in their deck. I’ve only played one game of ascension and I already like it more than dominion. Dominion’s biggest benefit is that it’s relatively quick and self-contained. That speed and simplicity comes at the cost of strategic variance though. Dominion makes the most of that exchange, making it one of my favorite party/small gathering distractions. Ascension offers a more leisurely experience, one where the game is intentionally scaled and paced to the number of players. The result is a game that rewards both strategic and tactical play. As we were slaying monsters and collecting honor, some of our friends were playing artimus. Artimus is a star trek simulation game tweaked to avoid copyright infringements. Players network laptops and other portable media devices to simulate the stations on a starship’s bridge (Captain, helm, coms, engineering, weapons, and science.) It’s a serious game with multiple levels for different ships, missions, and battles. Or I think it’s supposed to be serious. In reality, it was hard to focus on my own game when I kept hearing things like: “Helm, are we in reverse?” “Not any more.” And then there was the abortive ill-fated first mission: “Captain, aren’t those mines?” “We’ll blow right through them.” --Game over--- Or the first battle: “I’m asking them to surrender.” “You can do that?” “Yeh…” Boom! “We destroyed them…so that’s what auto beams do.” It was like someone had crossed galaxy quest with the guild. Sadly, it’s not blind friendly; but I can live with heckling. Saturday we attended a friends’ baby shower. It was nice to be able to see friends, but even more to offer up our support. I don’t like events where 300 people show up and you watch others open presents and play games. It’s very impersonal. This wasn’t one of those times. The family had been trying to adopt for a few years, and finally, after herculean effort, obtained the prize. It was a trial that most there had shared in some way or another. In many ways it felt like we were all celebrating a communal victory of spirit—as if it wasn’t just their child who would be coming home soon, but our child too. Ever since our friends brought their son into the world, I’ve looked at kids differently. They aren’t kids, they’re future gamers. They’re people who I can show the great experiences life has given me. Through their eyes I can see the world again as fresh and new, without politics and bills. Being more than a little bit of a kid myself, I always joke that it’s nice to have someone to play with. I can share in their triumphs, their joys, and their sorrows. I can show them the good things in life that it took me far too long to experience. And if maybe they don’t love those treasures of my childhood as much as I do, well that’s ok too. Sunday we cased out a new LGS called titan Games. Ever since I made the break with GW, I haven’t spent a lot of time in a real honest-to-god game store. Alternate worlds is nice, but they’re a small venue that makes room for in-store gaming even though their retail space isn’t ideally set up for it. Titan Games is a game store that wants you to sit down and forget your troubles while you roll dice, paint, sling cardboard, take on other personas, and hopefully spend a few bucks. The first thing you notice as you walk in is that it’s big. The main floor is warehouse sized, with more than 20 mixed miniature and card tables in an echoing high-roofed space. The walls are lined with product, supplies, the register, and even a selection of snacks. Wife quickly established the presence of a cold case full of soda, another case with good humor ice-cream, assorted candy bars, and even coffee. We walked around examining table after table of perfectly arranged terrain for all manner of miniature systems, even a FOW board. That was about when I started to like the place. You can tell that the owners like their miniature gaming. They made room for plenty of other game-related experiences as well. There’s a premium RPG room in the back, with an entertainment system, microwave, white-board, miniature display setup, and a closable door to shut out background noise. At $10 an hour the Champaign room of RPGs is a bit pricy for my taste; but then I have my own apartment filled with games, snacks, and cocktails. I like Titan. I really wish it was more in walking distance, but it’s a nice spot. They run the kind of place I enjoy turning into a home away from home. The following Thursday I took a few friends to the range. Two of them were new shooters, while the other two knew the ropes. I set up the experienced pair on a station with my newly configured 1911 and then got down to introducing two more folks to the fun of responsible shooting. Having already had the safety conversation, I brought out my colt diamondback in .22lr. This model is a 4 inch blued revolver with a butter-smooth trigger and badger custom rosewood grips. Experience has taught me that a .22 revolver is the way to bring newbies into the fold. Simple, no recoil, relatively quiet, very few controls, and most important of all it’s not very intimidating. I showed them how the gun worked, going over the action multiple times. Then I shot it myself so they could see (especially compared to the 1911) that it was a pussycat. Finally I coached each of them through their first shots with particular emphasis on fun and confidence building. The hardest part of teaching new shooters is instilling an absolute dedication to safety while simultaneously getting them to relax and enjoy the experience. You’re not going to shoot well if you’re keyed up and worried about what the mystical bullet thrower you’re holding is likely to do next. To that end, I use repetition of the basics to show new shooters what needs to be done and why. That gets supplemented with as much trigger time as they can handle. After an hour they were having fun and good to go on their own. That left me free to pull out the marlin 1895 in 45-70. There is something very satisfying about working the action on a major cartridge rifle. The solid chunk-chunk of the bolt chambering, the precise sense of each gear and spring engaging, the positive feel of the round sliding home with the chiming of the ejected case still echoing in your ears, all combine with the solid feel of the wood and steel of the 1895 to create a deeply rewarding experience. I liken it to the one time I was privileged enough to ride in a Portia. You could simply feel the precision of the car’s engineering. Every turn felt like the car was on a set of rails. Even as a passenger you could feel that the engine would give the driver everything he asked of it with no lost time or energy. That said, the real fun of shooting an 1895 is taming the crash and thunder of the 300 grain bullet as it trails a tongue of smoke and fire down range. Oh baby, it’s a sweet gun. The other 2 more experienced friends gave the big girl a try. They couldn’t stop smiling, even when they didn’t hold it tight enough into the shoulder and got thumped for their trouble. I wish I had the time and money to shoot it more often. A great week (more to follow re-food, drink, and Easter.)

Review of Dragon Dice

Overview:

            Dragon dice is a war-game that uses dice to represent opposing units, terrain, and items.  The game simulates armies fighting over territory.  A player wins when they control two terrain features or when they wipe out their opponents’ forces.

Introduction:

                        Dragon dice began life as TSR’s 1995 entry into the collectable gaming market.  It was meant to compete with the likes of WOTC’s then newly minted magic the gathering.  The franchise met with some initial success, but was unable to sustain that momentum.  The game was dropped from production after TSR was purchased by WOTC.  SFR bought the rights and remaining stock from wizards, saving it from a trip to a German landfill.  Since then dragon dice has achieved a dedicated cult following.

            At first glance TSR’s creation looks like an abstraction of the standard war-game template.  Players build an army up to an agreed upon point limit.  Forces are deployed.  The game is played out through alternating turns, with each player employing a combination of maneuver, missile, melee, and magic.

            That’s how I saw it when friends of mine pulled their dice out of storage.  I’ve spent a significant portion of the last eleven years obsessing over competitive wargaming of one flavor or another.  After that long, every war-game starts to sound like all the rest.  , it takes a lot to capture my interest.

           

The Dice:

            Dragon Dice is a war-game with a collectable component.  Four sided dice represent items, six sided dice represent units, eight sided dice represent terrain, ten sided dice represent monsters and artifacts, and twelve sided dice represent dragons.  Items and units come in four sizes.  The smallest are commons, the second smallest are uncommon, the second largest are rares, and the largest are champions and medallions.

            Each die face is marked with unique symbols corresponding to the type and quantity of effect it generates.  These include maneuver, melee, magic, missile, save, special action IDs, and unit IDs.  The larger the die, the greater the number of results on each face.  The type and quantity of symbols determines each die’s battlefield role.

            Each army has its own race-specific iconography.  Dice are colored based on their aspected elements chosen from Ivory, bronze, copper, white, blue, black, red, gold, and green.

Mechanics:

            Dragon dice is one of those games that you can make as simple or as complicated as you want.  Since the dice themselves provide the random element and qualitative character of each unit, it’s easy to pick up the basics.  The turn sequence is you’re standard move, shoot/attack/magic, and resolve.  Players roll their contributing dice for each action, total up the results, and compare them to their opponent’s total.

            The rules have a deceptively simple exterior built upon a core of exacting detail.  You can play the game by performing the equivalent of a frontal assault, but any kind of competitive play discourages this approach. Each game starts with your forces divided among three different terrains.  Terrain dice have faces 1-8 which vary between magic, missile, and melee in ascending order, with the eighth face representing a special feature.  None of the terrains start out greater than the sixth face, so even the fastest games last at least two turns.  Each terrain is randomly rolled at the beginning of the game, so you deploy without knowing how close you are to the coveted eighth face or whether your army’s skills will be useful at that particular stage.  As a result, it’s unusual to repeat strategic scenarios, even if the players are fielding identical armies over multiple sessions.

            Good play begins with the selection of a statistically effective army.  Dice are worth a number of points equal to their rarity, with commons worth 1 point, uncommons worth 2, rares worth 3, and monsters counting for a whopping four points.  The vagaries of probability dictate that armies composed of commons are the most consistent; uncommons represent the best balance of health to result, while monsters and rares are the only dice with special action icons.  An effective army balances the need for statistical consistency with the desire to generate special affects.  Magic players will recognize this challenge as it resembles constructed deck building.  Unlike magic though, dragon dice players must contend with the variability of the dice.  When one draws a magic card, it has a set value.  It interacts with the game the exact same way every time it is played.  Other cards can influence that mechanic, but the card itself is always going to represent the same process.  The rolling mechanic of dragon dice means that one can’t always rely on a die to generate a desired result at the critical moment.  This can be frustrating; especially in lower health games where taking higher value dice can quickly result in a player not having enough units to meaningfully impact their opponent.

            Further, each army has a selection of five unit roles, chosen from melee specialists, magic casters, missile experts, and cavalry elites, with further delineations for light troops and heavy armored variants.  Some forces have a balanced spread of icons while others contain dice with disproportionate emphasis on one role.  Each race has its own faction-specific rules, ranging from terrain advantages to the ability to counter magic and move between zones without the use of the reserve area.

Magic is dragon dice’s defining mechanic.  In a magic action, Dice are rolled, points are totaled, the results are divided up by aspected color, and spells are purchased and resolved.  There are 6 basic spell lists based on what color of magic is generated.  These lists are supplemented by race-specific spells, which may only be purchased by magic generated by dice of the corresponding faction.  Since most dice generate two colors of magic, deciding which spells to purchase and how best to allocate magic points can be a complex endeavor, especially if more than one race is involved.  Spells allow players to inflict damage, resurrect casualties, create natural disasters, summon allies, call dragons, enhance results…etc.  Most spells have a modular component that allows them to be cast multiple times, enhancing the results or spreading the affect to multiple targets.  Magic is so flexible and ubiquitous that the rules limit players to taking no more than half of their total force in related components.

            The most challenging mechanical aspect to dragon dice is the timing by which affects are reconciled.  Each special ability and spell generates a particular type of result, at a particular time. Some affects are applied immediately.  Some affects are applied before other immediate affects.  Some affects are held till after an opponent’s army rolls.  Other affects simply contribute to your own roll.  The resulting procedure is internally consistent, but often counterintuitive.

The good:

            Dragon dice is pretty tame.  It’s just dice after all, and not very complex at that.  What it has over most war-games is scalability.  You can dip your toe in with a starter set.  There’s no assembly, painting, or terrain required.  You just open—and go.  Small games are quick and satisfying.  As you become more familiar with the rules larger point games are just as quick.  The tiered nature of rarity and health means that bigger games don’t necessarily end up requiring significantly more dice—just larger value components.  There are optional elements such as specialty dragons, magic items, summonable allies, and terrain variants that add depth to the experience.  The game is structured to accommodate more than 2 players.  So as your collection, skills, and circle of players grow, there are lots of ways to branch out.

The cost also scales very well.  Most war-games I’ve played jump from a few hundred dollars to a few thousand dollars very quickly.  Dragon dice is refreshingly free of what I call the price deterrent.  For $20 you can buy a starter set complete with 2 forces, terrain, dragons, and rules.  For $100 a player can buy a respectable selection of dice.  The kicker pack construction of 1 monster, 1 rare, 2 uncommons, and 4 commons, means that even if you’re not stalking eBay, retail purchases will get you a balanced force very quickly.  I’ve spent thousands of dollars on games like magic, 40k, warmachine, and FOW.  Dragon dice is the only game where I’ve gotten a reasonable retail return up front.

            All that being said, dragon dice’s main attraction is that it hits the sweet spot between resource commitment and competitive drive.  With most games, especially those with an army mechanic, the more time you spend building your force, the more personal the experience becomes.  It’s tuff not to take it personally when someone kicks your teeth in after you spent weeks painting, assembling, and designing—that’s just human nature.   Because your army is the dice, it’s difficult to get personally attached.  Along the same lines, when you spend an hour setting up and two hours fighting it out  (cough cough—40k—cough cough)  there’s a tendency to start valuing the time investment based on the outcome.  Dragon dice games are long enough that you can take them seriously while being short enough that a single blow out isn’t the end of the world.

The Meh:

            SFR is a small company with a small dedicated following.  That right there encompasses all of my ambivalence regarding dragon dice.  I’m used to playing games made by multimillion dollar corporate entities…at least until I started playing this game.

            When I say small, I mean really small, as in ten people run the company from soup to nuts.  I’m sure there are hundreds, perhaps thousands, of players worldwide; but SFR’s forum has perhaps twenty active posters, half of whom are company officers.  With most game companies I envision a towering building with floors dedicated to production, development, distribution, management, HR, and legal.  With SFR I envision someone running the company out of their guest bedroom—part time.  On the one hand, their customer service is top notch.  The company president regularly responds to forum posts personally.  I’ve had a few self-created order problems that have been resolved quickly and efficiently.  It doesn’t take much to establish yourself as a regular forum contributor.  If you want a hand in the running of the company, $100 will buy you stockholder cred.

            On the other hand, it’s difficult to break into the inner circle.  Most of the veteran players have been playing the game for over a decade.  The senior contributors’ forum signatures all contain both officer titles and multiple national tournament wins.  Granted, we aren’t talking MTG pro-tour victories, but the guys at the top are well established even so.  It’s an exclusive club, one where new players are welcomed but only a few long-time fans are given serious weight.

            Likewise, the company’s production budget is restricted.  Because of the game’s relatively small customer base and the minimum sizes required for batch manufacturing, there are a limited number of products SFR can afford to produce.  There is only so much of each product made, and when it sells out, it isn’t reordered for another year or two.  This forces constant compromise between producing new product and reprinting existing lines.   The resulting economy is a weird mixture of private sales, SFR direct product, and discounted eBay bundles.

The bad:

            I am an analytical person.  There is nothing I enjoy so much as ripping apart a new RPG, war-game, or CCG.  I want to know the strengths, the weaknesses, how to make the numbers work for me.  I want to understand the game in its entirety, down to the most fundamental level.  I don’t have to like the rules to like the game, but there is usually some correlation between the two.

            The dragon dice rules are clearly written, grammatically correct, and neatly indexed.  They cover every aspect of the game, which is to say that if you’re not reading for content and comprehension, they have everything you’ll need.  Perhaps it would be better to say that the rules are not thought out very well.

            Good rules derive from a set of core principals which govern all possible mechanical interactions.  Those principals are grounded in easily inferred practical equivalencies, such as when a spear braced against a charging horse inflicts a critical hit.  As a player’s skill increases and they begin to push the limits of those principals, they should hold strong.  This is of course the ideal—long sought but rarely attained.  Even so, the current rules fall short in three major areas.

First, there are several fundamentals that are given less than adequate attention.  For example, unless it holds the eighth face, an army can only take an action that corresponds to the current facing of its current terrain.  At the low end magic, in the middle missile, and finally melee.  This fact is explicitly addressed in one single solitary sentence.  Granted, it’s there.  The problem being that a major mechanical limitation is only referred to in one easily overlooked location.  This is the fundamental underpinning of what your army can do each turn, it demands more than a footnote.  The rules are full of this kind of stealth proclamation.

            Second, many of the items are written in such a way as to make it difficult to correctly infer their intended scope.  For example “may only be cast once per magic action” clearly says that the spell in question can only be cast once-per-magic action.  What it implies though, is that the spell is only available to be cast _during_ a magic action.  In point of fact, the spell’s limitation is bound to the magic action phase and doesn’t restrict the spell to or during other phases.  In other areas, certain ability descriptions restate applicable rules while others do not (leaving one to question if the restatement is meant to be a poorly worded alternate affect.)  It is this ambiguous descriptive convention that makes it difficult to take game mechanics at face value.  As something of a fan-generated rule set, a lack of polish is understandable.  But in this case the imprecision of the language is more than a dearth of verbal elegance; it’s a genuinely poorly written document.

            Finally let’s talk about dice viability.  Each faction has five troop categories.  Each category is composed of common, uncommon, and rare units. Each race is predisposed towards certain specialties.  So far, no problem.  Every game I’ve ever played says that some guys are faster, some guys are tougher, some guys are shooty, some guys are punchy...etc.  The difference here is that dragon dice requires specialization.  When I say that there are 5 roles in each army and that each faction is better at one thing than another, what I’m saying is that there are entire classes of dice in each faction that are completely useless.  In other games, a shooting oriented army needs melee oriented troops in order to counterassault and take objectives.  In dragon dice, if you dilute your army’s focus you are seriously handicapping yourself.  That is because units are designed to excel in a single role.  Like units need to be rolled in quantity to generate consistent results.  Support troops aren’t worth taking because by making your army more flexible, you are also detracting from its effectiveness.  Why would you take missile troops when they generate no synergy with your faction’s special rules or provide any meaningful strategic advantage over other potential choices?  The byproduct is that certain factions are more flexible, more effective, and have a greater percentage of playable dice than others.

            This issue carries over into the playability of specific dice.  Beyond whether a given class of dice is worth taking to begin with, certain dice aren’t worth taking due to their distribution of icons.  Most units have a 67% or better chance of generating an applicable result in their given specialty.  Common and uncommon dice tend to be good at one thing to the exclusion of anything else.  Rare and monstrous dice can vary widely in their focus and consistency due to the presence of special action IDs.  Because of this most monsters aren’t worth playing.  With a few notable exceptions, monsters run a 30% to 40% chance of generating desired results.  Even taking into account special action icons, that’s not consistent enough to justify their selection.  The net effect is that monsters in general are a losing proposal—not a good thing considering their prevalence.

Personal impressions:

            I frigging love this game.  Even taking the quality of the rules writing into account, this is the single best war-game I’ve played—ever—bar none—period, end stop.  It’s paced perfectly to let casual and competitive players duke it out.  It’s priced so that collecting forces is relatively economical.  I’ve been playing this game once a week for the last four months and it’s more fun now then when I started.

            Outside the game, there are a few irregularities I struggle with.  Most of these issues stem from the way SFR manages its business.  As previously stated, I’m used to dealing with games run and developed by corporate entities.  There’s a discernable method to their production selections.  Their communication is clearly meant to focus their desired message.  Sometimes companies like Pizo and Privateer press involve the customer in the development process; but in the end the players’ interaction with the company is always managed to best affect.  Basically, the consumer gets the feeling that there’s a plan at work even if they don’t agree with it.

            With SFR, things are a little different.  I’ve routinely had forum conversations with company officers that leave me wondering if there is a plan or if anyone is even steering the boat.  In one memorable thread regarding a pole as to whether the company should develop new product or reprint previous offerings, several posters asked what that new product would be and which offerings were being considered for reprint.  The muddled response was essentially that they were already reprinting three factions and were in the process of developing at least one new product line.  Which begs the question why they asked for fan input in the first place?

            After some digging, it seems that SFR makes its business decisions through consensus of its stockholders (who are also its most influential players.)  This is a little like the top 20 NBA draft picks setting policy for the game or the magic world’s winner deciding what the theme for the next MTG set will be.  In theory the most influential players should be the most informed and be best equipped to push the game in productive directions.  In practice it often feels like there’s a secret cabal running the show.  One of my friends put it best when he said that fans bought the game from Wizards and fans have been running it ever since.  The company is basically one big game club that produces its own material.  This hasn’t curbed my enjoyment of dragon dice, but it does generate a few WTF moments.

Conclusions:

            Dragon dice offers the cache of a vintage TSR legacy, the collectability of a CCG, the novelty of an Indi game producer, and the fun of a great war-game.  It’s a protoproduct, a game with a lot of growing ahead.  As a result, it’s the perfect game for someone who wants to get in on the beginning of a relative newcomer to the wargaming market before it goes big.  It has some definite weaknesses—most of which should be addressed in further rules editions.  Buy it, play it, love it.