Tongue Spank, or how to spice up your day.

I wanted to give a short review of the tongue spank basic spice variants, Smokey bourbon, Garlic and grappa, Wasabi sake, and citrus rum.


Last week I kosher brined a turkey with a mixture of Smokey bourbon blend, black pepper, garlic salt, minced garlic, and fresh sage. I left the bird wrapped in plastic bags for a day for the juices to absorb the flavor. The turkey was then stuffed with a quartered lemon, yellow onion, and blood orange. Finally it was rubbed with olive oil mixed with kitchen bouquet and Elijah Craig bourbon. The turkey was cooked in an electric roaster for 2.5 hours with a light mix of bourbon and water covering the bottom of the pan. Considering that the turkey had been frozen longer than was probably good for it, it came out very well. The rub left a Smokey spicy taste to the meat. The bourbon fumes lightly flavored the skin. The aromatics gave a nice sweet base to the juice. In future I’ll go lighter on the salt and black pepper. The tongue spank Smokey bourbon stands on its own—needing no help to kick ass.

Today I grabbed some cold cuts and veggies from the store and tested out some combinations on my Panini maker. Group favorites included:

• Provolone, pepperoni, minced garlic, garlic and grappa, sliced roma tomatoes, and light mayonnaise.

• Provolone, fresh garlic, Smokey bourbon blend, sliced tomatoes, and light mayonnaise.

• We used the wasabi sake and citrus rum on two similar sandwiches and the flavors weren’t as compatible as I’d like. They were fantastic but not well suited to the available ingredients. I’m going to try the wasabi on a roast beef sandwich for work Tuesday.



Tonight I’m going to sauté chicken in olive oil, fresh sage, cider vinegar, garlic, sriracha, and citrus rum. I’ll then cook in red pepper, yellow onion, pineapple, and Asian veggie mix over brown rice. My hope is that the mix of flavors will compliment the seasoned chicken.



I’m very happy with the tongue spank spices. I haven’t found a good venue for the scorpion bourbon blend yet, but it’s just a matter of time. When I originally kickstarted this I hoped I would end up with one or two good flavors. Each flavor is distinct, well blended, finished with a kick, and at a level where it works as a condiment or cooking aid. A teaspoon of the seasoning makes a spicy flavorful sandwich. Anything more than that and the flavor and spice amp up proportionally, often overwhelming the other elements. The spice blends well with other sauces, such as mayonnaise, spreading the flavor nicely without killing the combined affect. Basically, a little bit of this goes a long way. My only regret is that I only got two of each bottle.