Saturday, September 7, 2013
The making of an action hero pt31
Entry #30. Today was one of the bestest days ever. I got up at 6 and did three full sets with the clubs to the music of halo II. The brunette, WMTrainguy, his wife and son (agent E), and I set out for the Shenandoah river a little after 8 with a 12 pack of red’s apple ail and a metric ton of my pasta salad in toe. We met up with my mother in law and made our way to the entry point for the upcoming patrol. Agent WMTrainguy and the mother in law (hence forth agent T) caravanned both vehicles down to the destination point and drove one car back so we would have exfiltration at both ends of the trip. Knowing that we would be in mild water and inner tubes for most of the patrol, I left the emergency pack at home and stuck with a Gerber carabiner tool clipped through a hole in my shirt tale. We got into our tubes, tied them together, attached the two tubes for the coolers, and set off down current. The sun looked down from a cloudless blue sky with a mild breeze stirring the air. I relaxed back into the tube holding a red’s with nothing important to do all day. It was immediately clear to me why I had never heard of this pastime. It was so pleasant that nobody wanted to give up the secret lest the river become congested with evolutionary excrement. Seriously. The only part of my body supporting any weight at all was the hand with the bottle. The river lapped slowly around us and time slowed. WMTrainguy came to the rescue, out heroing me handily, when the coolers broke free and almost smashed themselves on the rocks. He rescued the alcohol and my good mood as well as keeping our little tube-train together. After that we just floated down stream talking, relaxing, and exchanging empties for new bottles. There was some completely uncalled for splashing of this worthy by heartless “friends” but otherwise the trip was a resounding success. The three hours of lazy comfort ended far too soon. We then retreated to agent T’s home for a cookout. Hooo boy, nothing caps off an afternoon of aquatic patrolling like a plate full of charred meat and pasta salad. That is the essence of a good time. Nothing but living in the moment, no fears, no worries, nowhere to go, just good food and friends. Things I learned this trip: 1. Next time, bring water shoes. The bottom of the river and the parking lot are covered in rocks. I managed to go barefoot, but it wasn’t easy. I would have been severely impaired had there been an emergency. 2. Cheap sunglasses would have been nice. That sun was fantastic, but right over head. 3. Bigger tube/raft and more time on the river. We weren’t able to tie off at the end, so had to rely on people to hold the tube train in place. I’ll be looking at the cost of an inflatable boat/raft to help with that process next year if we don’t go sooner. 4. Talk to the entire group about food/drinks in advance. Our 12 pack worked out fine, but it would have been nice to get something for everyone. Also, WMTrainguy’s wife (I really need to find something better to call her) made pasta salad as well because we didn’t coordinate. 5. It is entirely useless to use suntan lotion on your face and arms, wear a shirt, and forget to put sun block on your legs and feet while you are stretched out face up to the sky for three hours. I was proud of my preparations until we started home and my legs started feeling like someone had covered them in superglue every time I tried to move. 6. Mint oil is an excellent home remedy for sunburns—really—seriously—it works. Judging by the amount of pain I was in it also might work on radiation burns. Have to look into that. 7. Going to do this again, after my legs heal. Weigh in today after exercise=284.6 pounds. Intake today: Breakfast=a health shake with oatmeal, almond milk, spinach, and a banana. Patrol meal=several red’s apple ales—I dunno how many. I didn’t drink them all, I was sober the entire time, and everybody got some. Lunch/dinner=two helpings of pasta salad and 4 burgers. I stopped before I gorged, but by almost 4pm, I hadn’t eaten anything since 8 that morning and I was really hungry and it was really good. I figure for two meals it wasn’t terrible. I need to add more beef into my diet so the smell of charring meat doesn’t turn me into a barbarian on the hunt.