Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The making of an action hero pt13

Entry #12. Action heroes are supposed to have a generally positive outlook on life. They aren’t supposed to give up—ever. That’s one of the things that makes them heroes, they never quit. Ever since last week I’ve not been feeling very positive. Maybe it’s the overcast weather. Maybe it’s low-grade stress building up. As the brunette rightly pointed out yesterday I’ve made several small but telling changes to my diet; maybe that’s it. I hate feeling grumpy/angry/out of it for no reason. I’m used to being jaded, cynical…etc. That’s normal and healthy. The thing is that even when I’m skeptically viewing life through oakum’s raiser, I try to laugh about it. I try not to let the little things get too me. I’ll vent about the fiddly bits of life. But when the venting’s done I try to put it all behind me and move on. At some level I want to be part of the solution—not the problem. One good thing about recording my health-related experience is that it has made me more aware of the times when circumstance conspires to trip me up. I have lots of things, nice things too. Just because I don’t have an extra grand in the bank isn’t a good reason to inhale a large pizza. Worrying about money, which we have budgeted out and well under control, makes no sense. There doesn’t have to be a rational reason for feeling—off I suppose. I simply hate feeling my stores of mental fortitude depleted for no apparent reason. Today started off with a promising 303.4 pound weigh in. Breakfast was a bowl of oatmeal and blueberries, a banana, and a glass of orange juice. Work meal was a mixed nuts bag, a ham and Swiss wrap, and an apple. Dinner was chicken over brown rice, Asian veggies, and a glass of water. I picked up the makings for a salad for tomorrow while topping off our groceries. Strangely I feel better now than I did this morning. Maybe it’s hauling thirty pounds of groceries home over a half mile, maybe it’s not buying junk food, and maybe writing this is helping…

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